60 Comments
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bobbert's avatar

The whole fucking solar system? I hope you included Pluto.

bobbert's avatar

(1) Hard to keep the requisite straight face, even at the interwebz distance; (2) yup.

bobbert's avatar

Oh, please. Analog is only Mittelgeek.

bobbert's avatar

Actually, I was trying for Goldline caskets, but I appear to have misfired.

bobbert's avatar

There's a notable absence of legislation prohibiting breast augmentation.

bobbert's avatar

Oh, just to be clear, 14 hours later, those will be my digits.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

"Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them using their telepathy."

Upon reflection, I have to agree that this is undoubtedly true.

Spotts1701, Taking Bible Guns's avatar

I get the same reaction whenever I see Mike Huckabee on TV.

malsperanza's avatar

I stopped taking payment in US dollars years ago, once I realized the Treasury Dept. is full of commies. I now only accept Genuine Cayman Islands(TM).

Or, of course, Mastercard.

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

Looks like the "Teabaggers are idiots" concept is finally gaining commercial recognition, beyond the billionaires' quiet rooms.

Anybody know if there are Jeebus-approved gadgets on the market, that help free you from your dependence on high-brimstone coal and oil?

𝔅𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔷𝔢𝔟𝔲𝔟𝔟𝔞's avatar

They probably just send a bit less to the teevee preacher that month.

bobbert's avatar

Hey, come on. They didn't claim to cure cancer.

bobbert's avatar

I'd be more interested in Sunday AM teevee shitfest death panel discussions.