We hope you enjoyed your ugly-face-free week at Wonkette, brought to you by 100 of your friends becoming new paid subscribers! And you can too!
Here is a way to give us any amount of your choosing, one-time, monthly, or annually, through Paypal, credit cards, or Venmo!
And now we tabs!
Alaska gov? Fuck it, why not! (CNN)
Let’s give the mic to Mississippi Free Press to tell us ever so much more about new (FINALLY) Senator-elect Scott Colom! (Mississippi Free Press) And this one, about what white Mississippi Democrats (the bad kind, the before kind) were up to back in the day is just upsetting. (Talking Points Memo)
Chris Van Hollen is challenging Chook for Senate Majority Leader. I’m not mad at Chuck Schumer, and I don’t think we need to be scrapping and snarling and fighting each other. And I also think this would be a great time for Chook to relax and take it easier, spend some time with his family the Baileys, and let the young and hungry 67-year-old take the weight off his shoulders! Really, it’s okay! (CNN)
I said this last week on Bluesky, that he would sign whatever Democrats put in front of him as long as they tell him people would love him again. (They would probably also have to throw in his fucking ballroom.) But then he hired Stephen Miller as chief of staff, so I figured he’d decided to go another way.
Can we investigate this lady, Meredith O’Rourke, “fundraiser” for the president’s “projects,” for a treat? (Gift link Wall Street Journal)
NO! ILLEGAL TO INVESTIGATE BALLROOM, DEMS! GO TO JAIL! (NBC News)
G. Elliott Morris on how the polls underestimated the Democrats’ night. You can watch the video or just click the “transcript” tab if like me you hate watching people talk for an hour! Personally I think the pollsters were trying to make up for poll-shy Republicans, but those guys didn’t vote so what can you do? (G. Elliott Morris)
Guys, you can’t just shoot up the HOA. I MEAN IT. (Washington Sun)
Damn, former NC Lt. Gov. and unsuccessful gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson and his wife filed for bankruptcy AGAIN? Too many porns :( (Greensboro)
No porns please, we’re British! (404 Media)
Oh yeah, Jensen Huang was slinging that dick ALL OVER the place! (Reuters) They’re gonna Fall Guy Howard Nutlick for the President’s Best Friend the Venus Spytrap probably, but also he might deserve some fall guyin’. (Axios) I can never tell if a Wired story is subscriber-only or not, but if you can see it, this one explains Alice Huang’s Megaspeed, and what’s actually the deal. (Garrett Graff at Wired)
Tradwives GTFO! But first take a little you time, you’re exhausted! (The Guardian)
Benjamin Dreyer copyedited Shirley Jackson and lived to tell the tale. Perhaps because she was already dead! (Benjamin Dreyer) Here’s the Wonkette affiliate link, we get 10 percent! (Bookshop)
Bookshop.org is the anti-Amazon, a certified B-corp partnering with local bookstores. Here’s our Bookshop affiliate link, when you buy books, Wonkette gets 10 percent. You can search any old book from that page and it will count. Buy all the books!
ETSY FRIENDS! Time to send me links to your pages (on Etsy and elsewhere) with all the wonderful things you make, so’s I can put them up for Your Artisanal Small Batch Hand-Crafted Wonker-Made Or Sold Ethical Consumer Orgy Friday after Thanksgiving! Please don’t send them to me after like Tuesday, Nov. 24, mama wants a day off too! Rebecca at wonkette dot com!
Enjoy our new merch — Wonkette Chat Noir and AOC Our Lady of 2028 — on cups, shot glasses, tanks, tees, totes, and stickers! We are still greatly in need of designs for Handsome Jon Ossoff, Handsome Abdul El-Sayed, and Handsome All The Other Ones. Email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com and maybe I will commission YOU! (Wonkette Bazaar)
And Wonkette San Francisco WONKMEET coming MONDAY, NOV. 30, at the Hyatt Embarcadero! Take the escalator UP to the lobby and then find us in the little area behind the restaurant bar! Drinks and snacks are on us 4:30-7 p.m. when we’ve got a hard out to make our plane home, but the other Wonkers will doubtless be waiting around to bullshit with you!
You know what you should do? Send Wonkette to some friends!
Have you subscribed to Wonkette today?




Parakeets, birds of mystery and Friday the 13th shenanigans. More about yer hed gif here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/parakeet-seance
Also, your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/bcc672a4-e64d-4b3e-907b-0628c4d28b10?r=angu9&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=share
Photo of Jensen Huang dining with a Russian spy: https://bsky.app/profile/moranstephen1000.bsky.social/post/3n26udvgwes2k