You Know What Kind Of Eyes She Got. Tabs, Fri., Aug. 7, 2026

Morning news roundup and things to read!

Tabs gif by Martini Glambassador!

Good morning friends, time to make the donuts!

Wonkparties Booze and Fun! Join us for snacks and drinks on me, or, when noted, potluck! CLEVELAND, Saturday, Aug. 8, 1-3 p.m., at Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd, Cleveland Heights, OH 44118 (THAT IS TOMORROW!); PITTSBURGH, Sunday, Aug. 9, 4-7 p.m., at Warren Bar and Burrow, 245 7th St, Pittsburgh, PA 15222 (THAT IS THIS SUNDAY!); SAN FRANCISCO in honor of Fukui, Fri., Aug. 21, Hyatt Regency SF (Embarcadero); WINDSOR, MASS, potluck! Find your own place to camp or AirBnB near but not at Paul and Holly’s, Labor Day weekend; Atlanta has been postponed.

First join ZiggyWiggy (and me!) at the Cleveland Wonkmeet Booze and Fun, then join ZiggyWiggy Saturday for Wonkette Movie Night! This week you will be watching Arsenic And Old Lace, available for free on the Internet Archive; $5.99 in the usual places ($2.99 on Google Play). Saturday, 9 p.m. Eastern!

NICE TIME: For the first time ever anywhere, a state (California) got a majority of its energy from solar power this May :D :D D: (Canary Media)

Whom are we holding in contempt for asserting his constitutional rights today? (AP)

I’m real sure the Supreme Court just ruled no, Donald Trump does not actually get to decide who is a citizen, but he’s decided not to listen today again. (Executive Order)

No, Tommy Tuberville, I really don’t think Abdul El-Sayed is a terrorist, and I think that’s a very strange thing to say! (Salon)

Purple state Wisconsin isn’t full to bursting with centrists and moderates; it swings wildly between very-progressives and feral Republicans. No reason this can’t be Francesca Hong’s year! (Ryan Cooper at The American Prospect)

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So Tucker Carlson is going to run for president probably I guess, but what really stood out to me in this False Flag post is that the putatively leftist Young Turks is having white nationalist former “counterterror” chief Joe Kent on their show to talk about “alliances.” Fuck your red-brown alliance Cenk Uygur and Tucker Carlson, and fuck yourselves. (The Bulwark)

Good for the like three people on the Green Party nominating zoom call who pointed out that the possible MAGA operative they ended up nominating for the Michigan Seventh, like, they don’t know him? Everybody else: Booooooooooooooooo. (The Bulwark)

Paris Hilton being cool again on a different topic this time. Man, never saw that coming in the 2000s. In this case, she’s backing a bill by AOC and a Republican in Florida to ban deepfake nudes, which passed the Senate by unanimous consent but can’t get a vote in the House because they don’t want AOC to have a win. Petty bitches. (Independent)

It is a banger, Count Binface, it is!

Hey, what if we didn’t allow people to bet on when and where the next wildfires would be arsoned occur completely naturally we’re sure? (Guardian)

North Carolina teen charged with assaulting herself with a deadly weapon (abortion pills). Everything’s going great. (Abortion, Every Day)

From the comments: Flower fairies! (Worriedman)

From my trip to the Insectarium in Montreal in June: Actual fairies!

Hmmm, seems like Sex Purge The Movie might not be awesome! (RogerEbert.com)

So relaxing for Grandma! Have a 6-7 day! (McSweeney’s)

Blast from the past: Paul Slansky invites you to luxuriate in Murray Kempton’s Trump-loathing column from 40 years ago. (There Is No Bottom)

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Played this one for my mama this morning. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, lord!

We are losing about one percent of our subscribers a month AIYEEEE. It would be really helpful if you sent Wonkette to some friends!

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I will never stop using all the different colored texts, I LOVE THEM!