Great essay, Mr. Legum. But I must call both “Hello Dolly” and “The Music Man” LIBELZ! also too. They are timeless examples of the American music canon.
But I do agree that I’d never go to see them at The Trump Theater of Broadway, brought to you by Donald Trump, or whatever that felonious rapist would name such a place. The cocktails would be overpriced watered down well drinks, and for some reason the seats would always be sticky. And the decor would be Low Atlantic City Whorehouse.
Didn't the "New York" "Military" "Academy" -- an upstate reformatory for punks from Queens like Donny Trump and John Gotti Junior -- have a drama club? The place went bankrupt, naturally, and was sold to the Chinese. Great job at education/reform they did.
"...and America maybe wouldn’t be turning into a fascist state ruled by the cruelest, dumbest motherfuckers to ever ride the DNA waterslide into the American gene pool."
The more gold-plated statues of Trump, the better: More people will have the fun of pulling them down and breaking them up with sledgehammers when his regime falls.
Let’s hope that keeping young Trump out of the performing arts doesn’t have the same disastrous results as rejecting young Hitler from art school in Vienna.
Just abandon the place and leave Trump and his culture vultures there in the dark. Take your contracts, your performers, your shows, plays, relationships and your mission and find a new location. Install a few stripper poles and a burger bar on the way out. Let Trump pick the new performances. “Cats,” staring Kevin Sorbo and Roseanne Barr. “A Night with Kid Rock, with Special Guest, Sean Spicer.”
Something else I remember from ROLLING STONE, an article at the very start of Trump's first term, castigating his crude oafish lack of taste and his drastic cuts of funding for the arts back then. The title was, "Welcome to Donald Trump's Ignorant America," and Jesse Berney wrote it. The subhead was, "Arts and humanities get at the truth of things – so naturally Trump’s administration plans to defund them."
I'm really looking forward to war between various kinds of Christians. The great challenge they face is that Christians can't agree on anything. The big divides are between Catholics and Orthodox and Protestants. There are at least 200 different protestant churches, each of which regards all the others as heretical and run by the devil. And all of them hold that view with respect to Orthodox and Catholic versions, which disagree about whether Jesus was made of the *exact same stuff* as the Father (Council of Nicaea) or just *similar stuff* (Arian heresy, Nestorianism). Lots of times it's nearly impossible to work out the meanings of the words. How, for instance, does one distinguish between "miaphysitism", "monophysitism" and "dyophysitism"?
Mainline Protestant churches in the US are mostly in accord. (N.B. the homophobic, so-called "Anglican Communion" of course has nothing to do with the actual Church of England, nor with the Episcopal Church.)
In my small town where I grew up the Baptists were pretty OK with the Presbyterians*.
Those fucking Methodists were heretics, however. Not really. I remember once a year the Southern Baptists had a joint service with the Methodists, with switching ministers each year. It was always lovely when we got the Methodist preacher, because he wrapped his shit up in about 12 minutes and kept it very light -- no fire and brimstone.
In contrast the So. Baptist one from our church went for a minimum of 30 minutes, and it was invariably about hell and eternal suffering and you're not worthy, but if you walk down to the front here at the end, we'll put in a good word and dunk you underwater to make Jeebus happy.
* I don't know about now. A few years ago the Presbyterians were doing those commercials with a diverse group that included Asians and the blacks and maybe even an Indian or two. Southern Baptists where I grew up did not get into that diversity stuff. The congregation was whiter than January in Maine.
Look, there are lots of performers who would be perfect for JFK Presents the Trump Center for Arts, Singing, Dancing and Burlesque. He’s heard great things about this Ethel Merman dame, they can reunite ABBA, and Sammy Davis Jr. is getting more and more attention these days. You know how good those people are at singing and dancing. Obviously I mean Jews, because Trump is very much a friend of Jews as his antisemitism fighting of university students clearly shows! Add in Charles in Charge, Kid Rock and The Nuge once he stops peeing himself and that’s a rock solid season!
I don't know if anyone. has referenced the golden statue that Nero had put up outside the Circus Maximus. Another person forced out of the theater and pushed into another position by a parent, in this case his mother. She might have been better off letting Claudius live.
Well, considering that Nero had his mother killed because she objected to his screwing around. Her real intention was to rule Rome as the power behind the throne, which she was far better at than Nero. Nero's problem was that he needed the adulation of the mob. Gee, that sounds familiar.
I am surprised Trump hasn't place one in the rotunda of the capitol. He is that tacky and being the trailer trash taco would be right on brand.
Great essay, Mr. Legum. But I must call both “Hello Dolly” and “The Music Man” LIBELZ! also too. They are timeless examples of the American music canon.
But I do agree that I’d never go to see them at The Trump Theater of Broadway, brought to you by Donald Trump, or whatever that felonious rapist would name such a place. The cocktails would be overpriced watered down well drinks, and for some reason the seats would always be sticky. And the decor would be Low Atlantic City Whorehouse.
Forget the pretense, Just re-name it the "Trump Center"
Didn't the "New York" "Military" "Academy" -- an upstate reformatory for punks from Queens like Donny Trump and John Gotti Junior -- have a drama club? The place went bankrupt, naturally, and was sold to the Chinese. Great job at education/reform they did.
"...and America maybe wouldn’t be turning into a fascist state ruled by the cruelest, dumbest motherfuckers to ever ride the DNA waterslide into the American gene pool."
[Chef's kiss]
The more gold-plated statues of Trump, the better: More people will have the fun of pulling them down and breaking them up with sledgehammers when his regime falls.
(Topples over TACO statue, hits it with sledgehammer)
“Hey - it’s just a thin skin of gold painted plastic filled with- ewww! Bull shit!”
“Wow - didn’t think the artist would make it so lifelike!”
"We will be welcomed as liberators!"
Let’s hope that keeping young Trump out of the performing arts doesn’t have the same disastrous results as rejecting young Hitler from art school in Vienna.
I'll be nice to have a statue to pull down when this regime falls.
Just abandon the place and leave Trump and his culture vultures there in the dark. Take your contracts, your performers, your shows, plays, relationships and your mission and find a new location. Install a few stripper poles and a burger bar on the way out. Let Trump pick the new performances. “Cats,” staring Kevin Sorbo and Roseanne Barr. “A Night with Kid Rock, with Special Guest, Sean Spicer.”
Don't forget "The James O'Keefe Review."
Or is it "The James O'Keefe Follies?"
Something else I remember from ROLLING STONE, an article at the very start of Trump's first term, castigating his crude oafish lack of taste and his drastic cuts of funding for the arts back then. The title was, "Welcome to Donald Trump's Ignorant America," and Jesse Berney wrote it. The subhead was, "Arts and humanities get at the truth of things – so naturally Trump’s administration plans to defund them."
Unless they extol Trump as the Second Coming.
The perfect show for the Trump era at the Kennedy Center: Seven Teen Brides for One Brother.
I'm really looking forward to war between various kinds of Christians. The great challenge they face is that Christians can't agree on anything. The big divides are between Catholics and Orthodox and Protestants. There are at least 200 different protestant churches, each of which regards all the others as heretical and run by the devil. And all of them hold that view with respect to Orthodox and Catholic versions, which disagree about whether Jesus was made of the *exact same stuff* as the Father (Council of Nicaea) or just *similar stuff* (Arian heresy, Nestorianism). Lots of times it's nearly impossible to work out the meanings of the words. How, for instance, does one distinguish between "miaphysitism", "monophysitism" and "dyophysitism"?
There's a Tom Lehrer song in there, somewhere.
Mainline Protestant churches in the US are mostly in accord. (N.B. the homophobic, so-called "Anglican Communion" of course has nothing to do with the actual Church of England, nor with the Episcopal Church.)
The song you're thinking of is "National Brotherhood Week". Tom just turned 97 in April and I'm sure that he's as snarky as ever.
In my small town where I grew up the Baptists were pretty OK with the Presbyterians*.
Those fucking Methodists were heretics, however. Not really. I remember once a year the Southern Baptists had a joint service with the Methodists, with switching ministers each year. It was always lovely when we got the Methodist preacher, because he wrapped his shit up in about 12 minutes and kept it very light -- no fire and brimstone.
In contrast the So. Baptist one from our church went for a minimum of 30 minutes, and it was invariably about hell and eternal suffering and you're not worthy, but if you walk down to the front here at the end, we'll put in a good word and dunk you underwater to make Jeebus happy.
* I don't know about now. A few years ago the Presbyterians were doing those commercials with a diverse group that included Asians and the blacks and maybe even an Indian or two. Southern Baptists where I grew up did not get into that diversity stuff. The congregation was whiter than January in Maine.
Look, there are lots of performers who would be perfect for JFK Presents the Trump Center for Arts, Singing, Dancing and Burlesque. He’s heard great things about this Ethel Merman dame, they can reunite ABBA, and Sammy Davis Jr. is getting more and more attention these days. You know how good those people are at singing and dancing. Obviously I mean Jews, because Trump is very much a friend of Jews as his antisemitism fighting of university students clearly shows! Add in Charles in Charge, Kid Rock and The Nuge once he stops peeing himself and that’s a rock solid season!
I don't know if anyone. has referenced the golden statue that Nero had put up outside the Circus Maximus. Another person forced out of the theater and pushed into another position by a parent, in this case his mother. She might have been better off letting Claudius live.
Well, considering that Nero had his mother killed because she objected to his screwing around. Her real intention was to rule Rome as the power behind the throne, which she was far better at than Nero. Nero's problem was that he needed the adulation of the mob. Gee, that sounds familiar.
Fuck Floyd Brown, the founder of Citizens United. The Dred Scott SCROTUS decision of our time.
This is the latest performative nonsense from TACO.
He wants us to be outraged and distracted.
(wearily) What is it this time?