2014 was the year when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and became a true American. It was also the year when Cruz made his first successful title defense of Wonkette's coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award (National Division). How else did Ted save the soul of America this year? Let's Wonksplore!
I did not mean in any way to imply that Cruz lacked shiftiness, I see it more of a case of imagine if Federer, Nadal and Djokovic all came into their prime at once after Pete Sampras' second US Open win... does anyone imagine he would still have gone on to beat Emerson's record?
The subconscious reason you want to strangle him (with votes) before he even opens his mouth is this: he looks like Joe McCarthy. It's an instinctive reaction.
He has all the charm of a leaking oil tanker.
Sadly after November, defending his title next year will be a very difficult task.
Ted Cruz is Obamacare for douchebaggery.
He wants to do to America what he did to Katie Holmes.
Yeah, he seems nice.
Ted Cruz is a man who has no idea what coffee tastes like without the flavor of an underling’s spit…
“Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."
god what fun she would have had with cruz.
He hails from the same state as Louie Gohmert, whose fall has yet to come. Don't hold your breath, is what I'm saying.
Shitgateau?
I did not mean in any way to imply that Cruz lacked shiftiness, I see it more of a case of imagine if Federer, Nadal and Djokovic all came into their prime at once after Pete Sampras' second US Open win... does anyone imagine he would still have gone on to beat Emerson's record?
The subconscious reason you want to strangle him (with votes) before he even opens his mouth is this: he looks like Joe McCarthy. It's an instinctive reaction.