Your Weekly Top Ten Doesn't Even Know What Day It Is Anymore
Good morning and good weekend, Wonkers! It is time for the top ten post, where we count down the top ten posts of the week, ask you for money to keep this place going, and show you Wonkette toddler pictures. Like the one above, of Wonkette Toddler wearing a scarf made by a Wonker! In other news, this week has murdered us dead, so we're makin' this brief.
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Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, encouraging you to throw your wallets at us OW OW OW YOUR WALLET IS HEAVY LIKE A BRICK:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
Did we mention we love you?
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. Lo Unto Us YET ANOTHER Fusion GPS Transcript Has Been Given! And we liveblogged it ALL DAY!
2. It Seems Like Not Regulating Homeschooling Doesn’t Work Out So Well? Hot take, we know!
3. Counterpoint: Maybe Chuck Schumer ISN’T A Fucking Asshole Weakling That We Hate? It's possible!
4. Not Sure How To Say This, But FBI Director Chris Wray MAY Have A 12-Inch Dick. Whoa if true! And if true, come sit by us!
5. Happy Lucky 13th Anniversary, Melania Trump And This Hot Marine! We hope Melania and her hot Marine have many more happy years together.
6. Shep Smith Unites America In Laughter At Ted Cruz’s Lying Dickface. It's been a while since we've all done that together!
7. Fox News Apparently Just Trying To Get People Killed Now. For real, this shit is getting dangerous.
8. USA Gymnastics Judge Preemptively Banned From Wonkette Comments, For Being TOO AWESOME. She really is pretty badass.
9. Let’s Skim NYMag’s Glenn Greenwald Profile And See How Stupid It Is. SPOILER: Pretty stupid!
10. President Loud Stupid Talked To Reporters Without Adult Supervision Again. It Went Just Great. President Loud Stupid is the best thing we've named him since President Beef Poots!
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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You are very good, so here is another toddler picture:
OK bye.
Yours in baby Jesus,
Wonkette
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