Your Weekly Top Ten Feels Like Trump Has Been President For 100 FUCKING YEARS
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OH HI WONKERS. Two things. Do you see Wonkette Toddler Baby Person up there? She has her drivers license now we guess, and she is driving a Prius like a common hippie liberal!
Secondly, it is officially the 100th day of Donald Trump's presidency. Isn't he the biggest sucky loser president ever? He probably should resign before he fails more, because you just know he will. Anyway, it is your top ten post, where we count down the top ten stories of the week, yadda yadda, you know how this works. We'll get to that in a minute.
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YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. Nazis? Sovereign citizens? Furries? ALL THOSE THINGS AT THE SAME TIME? They are in this post, for you to read! This story was on the list last week too! It must be a very important post!
2. Badass Sally Yates gettin' ready to fuck Trump up in front of the House Intelligence Committee, ALLEGEDLY.
3. Jimmy Johns is evil. This post from a million years ago ends up on this list all the damn time, because we guess it is the definitive account of how Jimmy John's is evil.
4. Alex Jones REALLY hates it when you call his new wife a massage hooker.
5. Here are the 83 most embarrassing parts of Donald Trump's interview with the Associated Press!
6. Look, it is last week's Deleted Comments! It is about Nazis and furries!
7. Jason Chaffetz knows there are no dirty scandals in his butt, because everybody gives him enemas all the time, whenever they want.
8. This genius Republican knows low-wage workers don't deserve doctors or medicine. PFFFFFFT.
9. OMG WORMHOLE MOMENT. Last week's Weekly Top Ten post is #9 for THIS WEEK!
10. And finally, because you have to encourage bad people when they do good things, Marco Rubio's speech condemning the Chechnyan campaign against gay men was actually fucking impressive. So stop reminding us Marco Rubio has done bad things too, because don't you think we know that already? Jesus.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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