Your Weekly Top Ten Has A Delicious Easter Cookie And You Do Not!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Hello! It's the weekend! Which means I am in charge and also you get to see our TOP TEN stories of the week, which for some reason I am doing this week also! Probably because Evan has been hardcore Muellering all week and needs a BREAK. Which is fair!

I, for one, have my fingers crossed that no important RUSSIA stories break today because I am of absolutely no help in that area whatsoever. Unless you want to talk about the False Dmitrys, because I am always here to talk about the False Dmitrys. But that probably will not be a news item for any reason, ever. Unfortunately for us all.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, our top ten articles of the week!

10. It's Time For 'TALKIN' GAY,' With Rachel Maddow And Mayor Pete! 

9. Welsh Schools Tackle Period Poverty By Doling Out Tampons And Pads At Schools 

8. Lou Dobbs Sorry Lou Dobbs Made Trump Lie About Approval Ratings 

7. Donald Trump Tweets While Notre Dame Burns 

6. We're Not Crying, You're Crying At Pete Buttigieg Kickoff Speech 

5. A Roundup Of Wingnuts Insisting Donald "I'm Fucked" Trump Is Innocent 

4. Trump Telling Border Patrol To Break Law For Full Pardon 

3. So It Was Black Metal That Made That Guy Burn All Those Black Churches 

2. Hey, Aaron Schock What'd You Find In That Guy's Pants At Coachella? 

1. Bill Barr Drew Dicks All Over Mueller Report, But Let's Liveblog It Anyway! 

Wow, those sure are some good stories!

What else? Here are some pics of Wonkette toddler doing MODEL MOVES! STYLE FILE!

Our editrix reports that her new thing is where "she does a model move then goes "STYLE FILE!" It is some dumb fucking barbie cartoon or some shit"

Probably!

Anyway, time to get on with our day here and find a thing to write about next. See you all in a few!