Your Weekly Top Ten Is BEJEWELED!

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Hey y'all, impeachment trial starts next week, gonna get this out of the way as fast as possible.

Before we count down the top 10 stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! If you like presents, you could do our Patreon! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Rudy, You Cannot Lie When Lev Parnas Has Receipts! 

9. Shut Your Racist Mouth, Fox News, Cory Booker Isn't 'Lazy' 

8. Trump Claims Four Embassies Were Going To Be Bombed By Iran, Didn't Bother To Tell Them That 

7. Trump Hitler Rally Mostly About Adam Schiff's Nine Inches Or Something, We Dunno 

6. Lev Parnas? President Truth-Mouth Doesn't Know Her. 

5. The Republicans Are Going Full Freedom Fries Again 

4. Uh Oh, Matt Gaetz In Big Trouble With Daddy! 

3. Cut The Crap Already, We Killed Soleimani Because They Told Trump Brown People Were Laughing At Him 

2. This DOES Sound Like Matt Gaetz! 

1. Burger King Used 'The D-Word' And The One Million Moms Are TELLING! 

Those are good stories!

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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