Your Weekly Top Ten Is COMING TO KISS YOUR FACE!
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Your Weekly Top Ten Is COMING TO KISS YOUR FACE!
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Hey Wonkers! It is the weekend, which means it is time for your top ten post! Did you know Wonkette is hittin' the road to come see you, if you are in Boise, Sacramento, Sonoma, and lots of other parts of California? IT'S TRUE, CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS. Of course, our headline is fake news because yr Weekly Top Ten is not a person, actually, therefore it cannot come to see you. But Editrix Rebecca and Shy and the Wonkette toddler are coming! You know, that toddler above, modeling the "IMPEACH" hat you need to buy. Click on the picture to do that!
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YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. DAMN BOB CORKER DAMN! GIRL! SHIT! That story better be #1, since we came in on a Sunday to write it.
2. Oh Chris Cillizza, You FUCKING Shitheel. Oh MAN, he is the worst.
3. Oh No, The President’s Various Wives Are Fighting. And we are not paying attention to their "Real Housewives" shit, you can't make us.
4. Roy Moore’s Christian Crimer Son Caught Christian Criming WITH A DEFENSELESS ANIMAL. We blame bad parenting.
5. Dumb Old President Loser-Dick Hates Everything, Wishes It Was DEAD! WHIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!
6. GOP Sen. Bob Corker Has Only Just Begun To Talk Shit About Donald Trump. And now it's time for others to follow his lead, and for them to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
7. Queen Elizabeth Will See Donald Trump IN HELL. Well, she will.
8. Poll Porn! Donald Trump Now Losing All His Country Folk, Oh No, How Sad! He must be really sick of winning by now.
9. Victoria Jackson Thinks Julia Louis-Dreyfus Should Stop Being JUST LIKE HITLER. What, is that an unreasonable thing to think?
10. The Week In Garbage Men: Incels Dream Of Zombie Sex Slaves To Call Their Own, Also Their Own Sisters. Because you all just love that weekly series Robyn does!
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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