Your Weekly Top Ten Is Exhausted Again, Please Send Money

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

OH HI, Wonkers! We do not mean to suggest that there is a specific correlation between our being exhausted by these terrible news weeks and you sending us money, we are just saying ... WHATEVER WE ARE SAYING. Please send money, as you all know this here Wonkette does not exist without the support of viewers like you. In exchange we give you all the news, all the best hot takes on the news, and the best premium grade free range organic dick jokes money can buy. It is a good trade-off, we think.

Ready to count down some top ten stories? Let's do it!

Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Rod Rosenstein Cannot Even Handle How Stupid Louie Gohmert Is Right Now 

2. TFW Devin Nunes Tries To Troll LeBron James But Just Ends Up Dunking On Himself 

3. Hey Donald Trump Is Your Refrigerator Running? BETTER GO CATCH IT LOLOLOLOLOL! 

4. Your Holiday Science Movie List, Bitches! 

5. What Are You Bringing To The 4th Of July Democrat Civil War Potluck? 

6. Deleted Comments: Donald Trump Gave Up Everything To Save Us. Why Aren't You Grateful? 

7. The Family That Scams Together ... 

8. House GOP Russia Cover-Up Is Endangering Peoples' Lives. Is That Bad? 

9. Grab Some Kleenex And Let's Watch These Speeches From The Families Belong Together Rally 

10. Dear Police, Minorities Are Playing Dominoes In Harlem!! Halp Me! 

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, like we mentioned above, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Let's see ... anything else? Oh here's another picture of that Wonkette toddler PROTESTIN':

OK that's all.

Yours in baby Jesus,

Wonkette

 Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.  

 Wonkette salaries and servers are fully paid for by YOU! Please pay our salaries.