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Your Weekly Top Ten Is Fawning All Over New WONKETTE GRANDBABY
OH HEY HOLIDAY WEEKEND HOW ARE YOU DOING? It is time for your Weekly Top Ten post, where we count down the top posts of the week, in numerical order. It is an internet tradition! Another internet tradition for you to be aware of is that Wonkette doesn't just have a toddler human woman and a Wonkette niece, it has a GRANDCHILD now. She is the person pictured above, whose name is Tallulah! She was born to the editrix's grown ass son and his lovely wife on Monday. You may fawn all over the picture of the baby STARTING NOW.
So! We'll count down all the top stories in a sec, but first, WHILE YOU LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE BABY, we must shake you down for donation moneys. See, we have no ads. NONE. Remember back when we had ads and they ate your browser and made your grandma cry a lot? God that sucked! But we got rid of them, and that means YOU, LITERALLY ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, pay our rent and our paychecks and our other things and stuff. And we're trying our best to keep up with the fucking Trump regime, and in that spirit we're taking on more writers, which costs $$$$, and we want to take on EVEN MORE! So please please please consider doing monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.
Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is a different person from the baby above:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. Jesus, Donald Trump, what the fuck is wrong with you? Our first post about Trump's "Morning Mika" temper tantrums!
2. Sarah Huckabee Sanders got her ass handed to her by an awesome White House reporter, and it was effing glorious.
3. Newlywed idiot who's been married 15 minutes will explain marriage to all you feminist idiots.
4. Um, if Jason Chaffetz can't afford to live in DC, then maybe he shouldn't have spent all his money on that shiny new iPhone.
5. Holy FUCK, Dinesh D'Souza is stupid.
6. Did Eric Trump literally go into his local Supercuts and say, "Give me the Hitler cut, I want to look like a sexually attractive Hitler person"? Yes, probably.
7. For the second week in a row, guys, shut the fuck up about Nancy Pelosi.
8. The NRA really really really really wants you to shoot a ton of people, like protesters and the media and teachers, etc.
9. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is here to 'splain you why Donald Trump is a thin-skinned weenus who Twitter-punches girls.
10. And finally, a Florida cop invented a new law so he could arrest a black dude for walking.
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:
You are very good! Here's another baby picture, where Tallulah is one day old so she is obviously very grown up:
OK goodbye have a nice long weekend, goodbye, be good, goodbye, don't do anything we wouldn't do, goodbye, unless you want to.
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