Your Weekly Top Ten Is Like HOLY FUCK HOW DID WE SURVIVE THIS WEEK?

OK everyone, hello! It was a really shitty week, right? Just like we say every week now! But it is the weekend now, which means we count down your top ten stories as if we are even here on Saturday mornings, LOLOL WHATEVER. Anyway, you are going to march this afternoon, because no matter where you are, there is a march near you today probably. So drink your coffee and make your plans and read this post and ... gah, we don't care what you do, honestly. Again, we are not actually "here."

Also, we didn't have any new pics of Wonkette toddler Donna this week, so we Google image searched "Donna" and Donna Summer is what you get. That's right, THAT'S. WHAT. YOU. GET.

OK, time for top ten posts of the week. Stories chosen by Beyoncé, as per usual:

1. Very Special Judge Tells Paul Manafort And Giuliani To GTFOH 

2. Let's Liveblog Sarah Huckabee Sanders Bellyaching About Her Free Cheese Plate Like A Total Dick 

3. Liveblogging Ourselves Getting Drunk For The Next Eight Hours Because OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT 

4. The Week In Garbage Men: Douchebag Offers Lessons In Not Being A 'Cuck.' 

5. Rod Rosenstein Cannot Even Handle How Stupid Louie Gohmert Is Right Now 

6. Local Pot Dealer (The Nice White Kind) Calls The Cops On Black Girl Selling Water 

7. Shocker: Michael Cohen Approved National Enquirer's Trump Stories With Help Of Bigfoot! 

8. GO FUCK YOURSELF, ANTHONY KENNEDY 

9. Politico Goes On Coitus Safari, Finds Millennial Trump Staffers Living In 'Fuck Deserts' 

10. Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going To Take It Anymore. 

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

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Let's see ... anything else? Nope, BYE.

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