Your Weekly Top Ten Is Not Fake News, So FUCK YOU, CHART

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Y'all, we gotta be honest, because we did not intend for our response to that lady's dumb "media bias chart" what said Wonkette was fake and Louise Mensch-y and just as good as the Gateway Pundit to be taken QUITE SO SERIOUSLY by said lady with her media bias chart. But alas, she did take it very seriously and she thinks we are FOR REAL MAD and obviously doesn't understand that when we respond like that, we are not necessarily MAD mad. We are just halfway mad and we enjoy lambasting people WITH WORDS. (Also, she was wrong on the internet, and she still is. Maybe she is the fake news? EVER THOUGHT OF THAT ONE BEFORE?)

Also her system for picking out where webistes go on #Chart is real fuckin' dumb. She says The Federalist is fair and balanced or something. Has she ever read Mollie Hemingway's total fucking lies for five seconds?

ANYWAY.

Also, the Wonkette toddler is sick, as you can see above in that adorable picture. Please keep that in mind when we ask you money a few column inches down from right here.

Shall we count down our top ten stories? We shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé, OH NO, FACTCHECK, CHART LADY, THAT IS A JOKE:

10. Wonkette Is Fake News Like Louise Mensch, According To World's Best Fucking Chart 

9. Tucker Carlson Dreams Of Room Filled Entirely With Tucker Carlsons 

8. Dear Miss Manners: What's The Proper Way To Wipe Your Nose On A Flag At A Trump Rally? 

7. Trump SHOCKED To Learn Trade Wars Are Bad And Hard To Win 

6. GOP Shitting Pants That Ted Cruz Might Lose, Because He Sucks And Everyone Hates Him 

5. Oops Zina Bash Did It Again 

4. Brett Kavanaugh Gonna Get Yelled At In Restaurants 

3. Pat Robertson Beat Up Hurricane Florence With His Bible And Now It Is Dead 

2. Mitch McConnell Officially Losing His Shit, Because The Senate Is IN PLAY, AYUP. 

1. The Week In Garbage Men: Going Carnivore To Own The Libs, Alex Jones Gets Gone, And A New MGTOW Hero 

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.

Here's another pic of the sick kid:

Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.

OK this post is over now, goodbye.

Love,

Louise Mensch (OH SHIT FACTCHECK CHART LADY WE ARE NOT LOUISE MENSCH)

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