Your Weekly Top Ten Is Only Two Weeks Away From WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
OK fine it is technically more than two weeks, but just a little bit. Are you counting down for your special WAR ON CHRISTMAS celebrations? We sure are! Anyway, making this fast (we always do) because we are tired. So let's talk about your top ten stories of the week!
We'll count them down in a sec, but first MONEY PARAGRAPH with a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT! If you currently subscribe to Wonkette via Amazon, you need to know Amazon has fucked yr Wonkette and deleted our account for "reasons." So please to go re-sign up with either PayPal or Stripe? Thank you we love you!
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We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. Go Fuck Yourself, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, YOU SILLY POOT LIPS. No, we didn't change the original headline. It's just that she is POOT LIPS now.
2. Good Morning, We’re All Fucked! About the dumpster fire of a tax bill the Senate passed last week!
3. Mike Flynn Pleading Guilty! How Fucked Is The White House? ALL OF THEM, KATIE! About Mike Flynn and how he is guilty!
4. White House So Mad Nobody (Sally Yates) Told Them Michael Flynn Was Bad (Sally Yates Told Them). Well, she did!
5. These Dicks Are Buying Up Your Alt-Weeklies And Turning Them Into National Review Or Some Shit. Protect your local alt-weekly!
6. O GOD MAKE IT STOP! Your Daily Round Up Of Crazy White House Shit! More Michael Flynn fuckery!
7. Trey Gowdy, Man Who Conducted Eighth Benghazi Investigation, Says Top Dem Is The Real Benghazi. Man, the balls on that fucking idiot.
8. After Hard Night Of Underage Sex Criming, OK GOP Perv Hungry For Wife’s DELICIOUS SAMMICHES. That guy seems nice.
9. The Tax Bill Was Not The Democrats’ Fault You Silly Wankers. Well it just wasn't.
10. Trump Only Obstructed Justice In Russia Probe A Bunch Of Other Times, Allegedly. What's wrong with that?
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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