Your Weekly Top Ten Is Part Of The Resistance Inside The Wonkette Media Empire
YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!
Hahahaha, hope you didn't think we were about to write a long funny parody about how we steal papers off Editrix Rebecca's desk or anything, because that's not how this post rolls. We write the top ten on TGI Friday, which means we are in the process of getting the fuckkkkk outta here. (But we do steal papers off her desk, ALLEGEDLY, all the way up there in Montana from way down here in Tennessee, and if she ever orders a foreign leader assassinated, we are gonna be like "nah, let's do cat pictures for the open thread post!")
Shall we count down our top ten stories? We shall.
Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
10. Wyoming's John Barrasso Iillustrates Why US Senate Is Permafucked
7. The 445,672 Most HOLY FUCKING BATSHIT Moments In Bob Woodward's New Trump Book (SO FAR!)
6. Fox News Celebrates Labor Day Weekend With Class...ism.
4. Robert Mueller Bags Another Witch! And It's A GOOD ONE.
3. Small Government Enthusiast Laura Ingraham Wants The Government To Run Social Media
2. US Kind Of Likes The Idea Of Killer Robots
1. I AM BEEKEEPER NOW! By Shypixel
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
OH HEY, one more thing. Know how Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you, and that's how we have salaries and servers and healthcare and liquor? If you want Wonkette to be here FOREVER, you gotta help us out, so won't you click here to do a $10 donation, or even better, a monthly subscription? WE LOVE YOU, YOU PAY OUR RENT.
Let's see ... anything else? NOPE.
OK this post is over now, goodbye.
Love,
ANONYMOUS
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!
Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the nifty donation widget below! Didn't that feel so good?
The kid looks like she's rocking out to James Brown.
Nah, you can lure them to the surface if you use cash as bait.