Your Weekly Top Ten Is PRESIDENT OF PRESCHOOL

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

As usual, when we say "your weekly top ten" with that kind of headline, we are talking about Wonkette Toddler, can you believe she is in preschool now? She is like a full grown adult, with an emphasis on learning shapes, because we guess the other three to five year olds still need to do that!

Anyway, it is time for your top ten list, where we count down the top ten stories and you give us money, because we are fully 100 percent reader-supported and cannot keep the lights on without you. You should probably do that first, to get it out of the way.

All done? Hooray!

Shall we count down the top ten stories? Yes, we shall.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Bet You Could Use Some Nice Things About Now!   

9. Trump Just Told ISIS Where We'll Be Attacking, On The White House Lawn   

8. Here's To 86 More Years Of Ruth Bader Ginsburg Being The Boss Of You!   

7. The 174 Shittiest Things Conservatives Have Said About The New Zealand Mosque Shooting SO FAR   

6. Trump Had A Playdate With A Fellow Fascist Dipshit Today   

5. John McCain's Ghost An Ingrate: Donald Trump   

4. Trump White House: FUCK IT, WE'RE DOING THE WATERGATE THING!   

3. Gay PM Leo Varadkar Tells Mike Pence To Kiss His Irish Ass   

2. Dang! Things Don't Seem To Be Going Too Well For Aunt Becky And Her Family Of Grifters   

1. Wash Your Eyeballs Clean With New Zealand Kids Honoring Fallen Classmates With Haka   

Those are good stories! Hey look, more kid pics, some of school, some with Beto t-shirts, which are available here (as well as other candidate shirts, because Wonkette Endorses Beating Trump in 2020):

OK that's it.

Go with God!

Love,

Wonkette

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