Your Weekly Top Ten Is Pretty Much About Badass Congress Ladies, Being Badass!
Maybe Wonkette toddler human woman will be a badass congresslady one day!
OH HI WONKERS. So, some quick stats for your Top Ten post. Only TWO of the top posts from the week were about the orange idiot squatting in the White House. We think that's pretty good, yeah? Because literally not fucking everything is about him . Also, TWO of the top posts this week were about badass ladies in the Senate and in the House of Representatives, who were notable for how they are badasses. And those TWO stories were the TOP TWO stories! We just think it's nice to take the focus off President Fuckhead and focus on some of the awesome women on our side.
So! We'll count down all the top stories in a sec, but first we must shake you down for donation moneys. See, we have no ads. NONE. Remember back when we had ads and they ate your browser and made your grandma cry a lot? God that sucked! But we got rid of them, and that means YOU, LITERALLY ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, pay our rent and our paychecks and our other things and stuff. And we're trying our best to keep up with the fucking Trump regime, and in that spirit we're taking on more writers, which costs $$$$, and we want to take on EVEN MORE! So please please please consider doing monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able -- DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD IT -- then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.
Look, it's the traditional Wonkette Baby Donation Pressure Lion Of Cuteness, who is extremely convincing:
YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW
We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:
1. In which we tell ALL Y'ALL to shut the fuck up about Nancy Pelosi, like JESUS YOU GUYS.
2. In which we talk about Dianne Feinstein being a badass who is ready to fuck Donald Trump the fuck up.
3. We were mildly displeased about how Donald Trump put an event planner in charge of New York public housing.
4. Dear Abby done shit the bed good this time!
5. Last week's Deleted Comments: Apparently Yankees are too dumb to know they stoled Old Glory from the Confederate flag.
6. A Plan, A Canal, A Fucking Idiot: A story about Donald Trump being a fucking idiot about the Panama Canal!
7. Uh oh, the Supreme Court would like to have a word with the gerrymandering mapfuckers!
8. It is probably not a good idea for Louise Mensch to lawsplain things to Preet Bharara. We are just saying.
9. Jared Kushner! He talked! With his face hole! It was a miracle!
10. And finally, Frank Luntz is a total fucking idiot. Click to find out why!
So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!
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You are very good! OK anyway have a good weekend bye.
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