Your Weekly Top Ten Is Running Late, Let's Make This Fast

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

OH HEY WE ARE TIRED NO TIME TO CHIT-CHAT, BYE.

Before we count down the top 10 stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! If you like presents, you could do our Patreon! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. 'Fox & Friends' Just Christ-Shaming Mitt Romney For Loving Jesus Too Much. Totally Normal. 

9. Matt Gaetz Too Stupid For Laura Ingraham 

8. Montana Republican Very Sure The Constitution Says He Can Murder All The Socialists 

7. BREAKING: Steve Bannon Reveals Fox News Is In The Bag For Donald Trump 

6. Somebody Make A Statue Of Mitt's Car Elevator, He's Voting To Convict! Your Final Trump Impeachment TOTAL EXONERATION Liveblog! 

5. No Impeachment, No Problem! Bolton's Got Leaks FOREVER 

4. Oh No All The Nazi Website People Are Getting Laid Off 

3. Are We Seriously Going To Accuse Someone Of Rape Based On One Comment On A Shady Gossip Blog? 

2. Trump Vows At Prayer Breakfast To Hunt Down Jesus's Real Killers, The Democrats Who Impeached Him 

1. Trump Tried To Grab John Bolton By The Mustache In MAY. F*cking MAY! Impeachment Liveblog, Day Whatever! 

Those are good stories!

One more pic:

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

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