Your Weekly Top Ten Is Too Tired To Write A Headline

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

TOP TEN, HEY!

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent, especially because of the pic of Wonkette toddler who has marked up her face like a ferocious tiger, RAWR.

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Why Is Pat Robertson Dropkicking Trump Into Hell Today, WAIT WHAT?   

9. These Are Just Some Really Good Jams About How The Earth Is Flat And Gravity Is Not Real 

8. Sorry About Your Trump Slob Picnic, Minneapolis 

7. Trump Not Sure If Rudy Giuliani Is Literal Actual Foreign Agent ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

6. Liz Cheney Knows Who's Really Murdering The Kurds, And It Is DAMN YOU ADAM SCHIFF! 

5. Mick Mulvaney: Trump Committed Ukraine Crimes, It Was Awesome, GET OVER IT! 

4. Bombshell Congressional Testimony Gently Suggests NYT's Ken Vogel Is Bad Reporter 

3. Let's Meet Rudy Giuliani's Team Of Dipsh*ts, Most Of Whom Are In Jail Or Under House Arrest In Vienna Right Now 

2. Who Invited Tulsi? Your Democratic Debate Liveblog! 

1. Four Different Federal Courts Told Trump to Go Fuck Himself Yesterday 

Those are good stories!

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

Love,

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