Your Weekly Top Ten Just Waiting For A Butt-Dial From Rudy Giuliani

YOU COME READ YOUR TOP TEN STORIES RIGHT NOW!

Y'all hear about that shit? What a fuckin' idiot.

Anyway, TOP TEN!

Before we count down the top ten stories of the week, here is your obligatory money beg, because if you love Wonkette, we need you to SUPPORT WONKETTE. Give us money to keep the lights on up in here! Better yet? SUBSCRIBE MONTHLY! Or up your subscription! Thank you, we love you, you pay our rent, especially because of the pic of Wonkette toddler who hasmarked up her face like a ferocious tiger, RAWRthat was last week Evan, she has drawn a picture of the editrix as a spider in a Halloween costume, but you can't see the bottom where the Halloween costume spider legs are. [ Dammit, I copy/pasted the wrong thing and now they know my METHODS ! -- Evan]

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Ready to count down the top stories? Yes, you are.

Stories chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

10. Make Yourself Comfortable And Have Some Nice Things! 

9. SDNY And Chicago Investigating Giuliani's Pals Together, Is That GOOD Or BAD For Rudy? 

8. Shocking New Poll Reveals Fox News Viewers Are Brainwashed Imbeciles 

7. Matt Gaetz's Moron Rebellion Leaves Mark On Impeachment Inquiry. A Skidmark. 

6. Court Rules That Anti-Choice 'Sidewalk Counselors' Can Annoy Anyone Trying To Get An Abortion In Pittsburgh 

5. Chick-Fil-A Lasts A Grand Total Of 8 Days In The U.K. After LGBTQ Groups Tell Them to 'Cluck Off' 

4. Trump: DURRRRRRRRR ADAM SCHIFF WHISTLEBLOWER PHONY EMOLUMENTS OBAMA NETFLIX? OBAMA NETFLIX?!?!?! 

3. Six Things Your Idiot Uncle Walter Doesn't Understand About The Impeachment Of Donald Trump 

2. Bill Taylor's Testimony Is HOLY SHIT WOW And Trump Is FUCKED 

1. Hillary Clinton Said True Thing About Tulsi Gabbard, Everybody Shit Your Pants! 

Those are good stories!

OK that is all, go with God, etc.

Love,

Wonkette

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