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Pack It In Ladies, This Incredible Douche Has Determined That Feminism Has FAILED

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After many years spent tracking the worst men of the internet, I am pleased and practically astounded to report that I have found the world's biggest douchebag. Sure, there are others that are more evil, more violent, and perhaps even those who are more misogynistic. But there is an undeniable special something about creepy misogny coming out of the mouth of an American Psycho wannabe looking dude who is going around pretending he is way more famous than he is that just elevates the pure douchieness of it all. It is almost magical.

There I was, innocently scrolling through my Feedly, when what did mine eyes see but a headline reading...

Feminism has Failed; Virtually Every Aspect of the Feminist Movement has Backfired, Says Noted Author Stefan Aarnio

Oh, my.

It was not a real article, mind you. It was on PRWeb, a site where they just publish press releases -- this one being an interview with the "Noted Author" himself (as you all surely know, "Noted Author" is a thing "Noted Authors" are always calling themselves). According to a Medium article I found in which he talks about poverty like a douchebag, Aarnio is a "Serial Entrepreneur, Real Estate Investor, Author, Real Estate Coach, Real Estate Developer, Public Speaker, App Developer and Artist."

And yes, I checked, and I have twice the amount of Twitter followers as he has.

Not gonna lie, this is my faaaaaavorite kind of internet douchebag. The only thing that would make this more delicious would be if he were also selling Orgone and/or had several music videos in which he raps. We all have our things.


So let's dig in to this definitely real interview with this obviously famous person, shall we?

1. Why do you say feminism has failed? What examples do you have for this claim?
Answer: Where do I begin? Before the feminist movement, women got to stay in a safe home and live a life of leisure and later raise children in that home. Today millions of women have to go to work. Tomorrow millions more might be drafted and possibly get killed. "Prior to feminism, the closest women got to that level of danger was watching vicariously at other people's messed up lives on Soap Operas while they continued to live safe, protected lives at home while their husbands were working and doing whatever was necessary to protect his family and tribe."

Right out of the gate, Aarnio shows us that he is a HISTORY GENIUS. First came soap operas, and then came feminism, in that order. Mary Wollenstonecraft was reportedly a very big fan of Days of Our Lives. And certainly, staying home and living a life of leisure was an option to all women (pre-feminism!), who also never encountered any kind of danger.

Just a picture of the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire, for no particular reason

The genius continues:

3. What's wrong with having women serve in the military?
Answer: Think about it. You'll figure out the answer. If I had a choice between having my wife's body come back dead in a body bag vs. having her at home and vibrant and very much alive, I'd choose the latter not the former.

Whereas I, a woman, prefer my husbands dead.

Cell Block Tango www.youtube.com

But we must ask -- has the masculinity failed? Stefan contends that no, the masculinity can never fail. Because the masculinity is being a gentleman. And who can argue with that?

4. A counter-argument can be made the masculinity has failed with there being a huge backlash toward 'toxic masculinity.' What do you have to say about that?

Answer: There is nothing wrong with true masculinity that includes being a gentlemen to feminine ladies (not feminists), where a man puts his life on the line for his woman and his tribe. True masculinity includes being a moral, thoughtful man. Feminists have done their level best to repel gentlemen.

5. In your book, "Hard Times Create Strong Men," you describe what being a strong man looks like. Is it mostly about muscle and machismo or is there more to it?

Answer: There's far more to be a truly strong man than meets the eye. For starters, as I said, a strong man is a moral man. To be strong, when you make a promise you need to keep it, and that especially goes for marriage vows. Throughout history, Masculinity has always been about power, while femininity has been about morality.

When power and morality come together, that is the whole package. A man in his base state is primal like a wild beast, but when you add morality you get a really well-rounded man, something more than a wild beast. A good and feminine woman can soothe the savage beast.

MAN IS PRIMAL LIKE WILD BEAST.

I gotta tell you people, I have read a lot of arguments against feminism in my time -- but after reading this extremely convincing interview with this noted author and obviously famous person, I am rethinking my ways. It's just so convincing!

Now, you all know I'm gonna be looking for his art later (please god let there be a music video), but it is about that time. So I am out of here and leaving you all to not comment amongst yourselves in this, your OPEN THREAD.

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Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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