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Panda, With a Vengeance

* Yippee kayay, motherfucker. [Express]


* "We have to give captive-bred pandas better survival training, especially combat and defence skills." [Poofygoo]

* Perhaps this glowing DCist review means the bullets have stopped flying at Temperance Hall. [DCist]

* " I don't know how many baby boomers read this (Hi Dad!), but, man, you guys are old." [why.i.hate.dc]

* Today is National Doughnut Day. Get some. [Last Second Thoughts]

* Summer gunfire is here! "These incidents and many more, have been increasing at an alarming rate. The police (whom we call every time there's an incident) have been blaming the nice weather for the increased activity in the streets and gentrification for the loss of drug-dealing territories." [007 in Africa]

* Hilarious driving-in-DC graphs: "HONK HONK! YOU PUSSY!" [Quiet in the Stacks]

* "Guy in Wisconsin shirt, while I was getting home from work, you were stopped in your bike ride trying to put the small fire out in my front yard. You even jumped over the fence! My friend and I would love to take you for a drink, but even if not, you're our hero. Thanks again!" {Missed Connections]

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No pressure in November, but looks like the Supreme Court is going to do FUCK ALL about gerrymandering this term. In a unanimous decision authored by Chief Justice Roberts, the Court remanded the landmark Gill v. Whitford redistricting case on standing -- in other words, they won't be ruling on it because the plaintiffs challenging the gerrymander hadn't adequately proved that they personally had the right to challenge Wisconsin's preposterous districts.

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We have been hearing ever since late last week that Michael Cohen is probably about to be arrested and probably going to be indicted on one million charges and probably maybe might be about to try to flip and make a deal so that he doesn't end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. In fact, we have been hanging our hopes on it, because everything else sucks. Sure, we are still filled with joy over how Paul Manafort is on day four of JAIL, MOTHERFUCKER, JAIL, but then we remembered what is happening on the border and what we are saying right now is we need something happy.

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