Say goodbye to Papa John! It feels like it has been at least a hundred years since we have heard a word from John Schnatter, the man who founded what's arguably the third largest (and first nastiest) pizza operation in America, Papa Johns Pizza. We would have loved to continue pretending he doesn't even exist, but he's being pushed out of his own company, and he deserves it, and all the garbage we have witnessed from him in the last decade proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is a genuine certified jerkface, also he voted for Trump.
Do you remember how John Schnatter went from feeling like a "pretty big deal" while recording Super Bowl commercials with Peyton Manning, having his pizza be the official pizza of the NFL, and being the head honcho and face of Papa John's Pizza -- to not having any of that, and also no job? Let me refresh your memory: Papa John could not and would not ever SHUT THE F*CK UP; he talked crap about Colin Kaepernick (this can make you go out of business) because of course he did. He opposed Obamacare like a real asshole and even threatened to cut hours so he wouldn't have to pay for health insurance for his employees, because -- get this -- insuring his employees would cost ten cents per pizza. But the final straw turned out to be basic ass racism. I mean, duh.
Racism has been a trending topic in the USA for about 200 years or so, but in the modern era, unlike back in the Colonial days, being racist will fuck your shit up. Getting caught saying racist shit outside of your Klan meetings can have you go from the "top of your game" to grabbing random shit from your office as you get booted from the company.
Schnatter told people on a conference call that "Colonel Sanders called black people n*****." In this case I appreciate the Trump time vortex phenomenon; it seems like it's been many years since we have heard from that asshole. And while it was nice to have forgotten he existed, it's EVEN NICER to see that the conference call "slip of the racist tongue" is the exact reason Schnatter is rolling out with a pink slip like the jerkiest jerk that ever jerked.
The company said in a regulatory filing on Tuesday it would co-operate with Schnatter to find a mutually acceptable independent director who would not be affiliated with Schnatter or hedge fund investor Starboard Value LP, which owns a nearly 10 percent stake in the restaurant chain.
It has only been since last summer that this drama has even been going on, and I could swear it has been several years since that whole Colonel Sanders thing.
Schnatter, who owns about 30 percent of the company's shares, would resign from the board if the independent director is appointed before the annual stockholder meeting slated for May, Papa John's said. Schnatter stepped down as chairman last summer, following reports he had used a racial slur on a media training conference call.
My favorite part of this whole drama is that it was one hundred percent his own damn fault he self owned so hardcore and dedicatedly, that he is losing all of his affiliations, fighting with his board, suing his own company, and being an otherwise miserable fuck ... just like Trump.
After learning that Papa John's would not nominate him to its board this year, Schnatter last Friday submitted a letter nominating himself, according to a regulatory filing and a person familiar with the matter. The moves laid the groundwork for a costly and distracting proxy battle that the settlement now helps avoid, the person said.
Awww, self nomination, huh? Not one fucking friend on the whole board? Bwaahaahaahahhaa!! It's just nice to see so many purely shitty mega-millionaires and billionaires finally start to get what they deserve. Nobody needed him to explain what Colonel Sanders's old dead ass had to say about black people, he had a captive audience and he simply wanted to say it. When I saw the news about his exit, I wondered, "Could this be a case of that Obamacare Era 11th dimensional chess strategy I never believed in?" Of course not, calm down. Schnatter self-owned. He's been desperately clinging to power since this shit went down, and it appears he did not cling to it tight like he was holding a gun and a Bible, so Jesus let him fail.
Wonkette is not even a billionaire, give us the money.
