Parler Snowflakes Melt Into Rage Puddles After Site Narcs Them Out To Deep State FBI

Tech

Oh, the irony! A website set up to monetize the rage of disaffected gun humpers lured by fairy tales of defecting to a digital paradise with no rules has been turning its own customers in to the feds.

"Everyone knows that Parler stands proudly for the fundamental American values of freedom of speech and expression," the company's lawyers wrote in a letter to House Oversight Committee Chair Carolyn Maloney. "However, Parler has always recognized that there are legal limitations on free speech."

O RLY? That doesn't seem to have been part of the marketing pitch, but ... GO ON.


The Company has acted to remove incitement and threats of violence from its platform and did so numerous times in the days before the unlawful rioting at the Capitol. As Parler grew substantially in the latter half of 2020, the Company took the extraordinary initiative to develop formal lines of communication with the Federal Bureau of Investigation ("FBI") to facilitate proactive cooperation and referrals of violent threats and incitement to law enforcement. In fact, in the days and weeks leading up to January 6th, Parler referred violent content from its platform to the FBI for investigation over 50 times, and Parler even alerted law enforcement to specific threats of violence being planned at the Capitol.

So, not only did Parler censor its users at Amazon's behest, but it proactively reached out to the cops about threats of violence on the platform. Wow, just like every other company trying to stay on the right side of the law so it can turn eyeballs into cash money! Whodathunk a website founded by Rebekah Mercer, the billionaire who bankrolled Cambridge Analytica's data harvesting and targeting psy-op during the 2016 election, would treat user content like a commodity.

The rest of the letter is predictably batshit, with broadsides against Twitter, Facebook, and Amazon peppered with laughable allegations that the Committee is doing WITCH HUNTS to Parler, as part of "a coordinated and widespread disinformation campaign designed to scapegoat Parler for the riots at the U.S. Capitol on January 6, 2021, and to justify Big Tech's unlawful and anticompetitive decision to de-platform Parler just when Parler was beginning to grow in size and strength, thereby presenting a viable threat to Big Tech's stranglehold on social media."

Butbutbut, the letter argues, Twitter let "Hang Mike Pence" trend in stories about the January 6 Capitol riot, which means Twitter also too allows incitement of violence on its platform, so it's cool that Parler users were saying it online as they planned for the event, right? Also something about Hunter Biden's laptop and Glenn Greenwald's substack? Checkmate!

Let's assume this line of reasoning is not going to cut it with Chair Maloney and her fellow Dems on Oversight — the Gippers will probably buy it, because they're a bunch of degenerates. But among a different bunch of degenerates, it's already going over like a lead balloon.

That's right, Parler's users are PISSED the site sold them out to the feds.

"I don't like snitches," commented one user on Parler's own post about the letter.

"Snitches get stitches or end up in ditches," responded another.

"The First Amendment does not protect violence inciting speech, nor the planning of violent acts. Such content violates Parler's TOS," the company wrote. "Any violent content shared with law enforcement was posted publicly and brought to our attention primarily via user reporting. And, as it is posted publicly, it can properly be referred to law enforcement by anyone. Parler remains steadfast in protecting your right to free speech."

"Freedom of speech is just that! Freedom! Go read the Constitution again and circle back!" shouted one legal scholar in response.

Another speculated the site had been hijacked by Twitter and Facebook: "Jack, is that you running Parler? Or is it that pussy fruitloop Zuckerberg? 🤔🙄"

And of course there was the inevitable and ungrammatical defense of bloodshed.

Unfortunately if you look back at the history of this country there is a place for violence it's the winners anarchy from the government and they're trying to infringe on peoples rights I mean what we did we were all terrorists we're all violent people at that point in time violence unfortunately does have its place and it's rising up against tyranny I'm not for it but it exists and that's just the way life is

Neat.

Well, luckily there's no history of violence among Parler users ... Oh, wait.

[Parler Letter / Mashable]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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