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Pat Robertson Does Usual Pat Robertson Thing Following Natural Disaster

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There being a massive natural disaster killing or hurting thousands or millions of poor people yesterday, Pat Robertson responded naturally this morning, by blaming it on those specific poor people and their worship of Satan -- all under the guise of a Disaster Relief Fundraiser.

What happened was that back in the 1790s, after witnessing the French Revolution, Toussaint L'ouverture led a successful slave rebellion against the French in the Haitian Revolution, word of which spread and inspired networks of American slaves to consider their own rebellions right up and through the Civil War. Some consider this strain of history "organized political action that helped end slavery in the West." Pat Robertson considers it a Satanic Pact.

Hundreds of years of propaganda, right here!

"Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it," he said. "They were under the heel of the French ... and they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, 'We will serve you if you'll get us free from the French.'

"True story. And the devil said, 'OK, it's a deal,'" Robertson said. "Ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after another."

Time to send in Rick Warren's missionaries, to give all of the survivors AIDS.

[Political Carnival, Right Wing Watch via Ben Smith]

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BREAKING ACHTUNG EVERYBODY CRY AND PANIC AND HAVE ROLLICKING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, BECAUSE ROBERT MUELLER DID THE THING.

We don't know what the thing means yet, but we know that he gave the thing to Attorney General Bill Barr, who is presumably looking at the thing right now. Donald Trump is at Mar-a-Lago, so he does not have the thing, because NO THING FOR ILLEGITIMATE PRESIDENTS. Studies show that according to sources close to the investigation who may or may not be close to the investigation, we might have some real information on what is inside the thing sometime this weekend.

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Whatcha doin' down there at Mar-a-Lago, Mister Normal President Of America?

OK ... huh?

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