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Pat Robertson Mystified By Strange African-American Thanksgiving Ritual

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The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview "her kind" (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin' crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre food dishes and claiming it's part of American Thanksgiving. Pat Robertson is aghast.

There is a reason we "like" Pat Robertson: He makes us stay "open minded" about the concept of a supernatural underworld where the Evil & Wretched are tortured for eternity. Because if Pat Robertson exists, doesn't that leave open the possibility that his Final Resting Place also exists, in the form of Hell? And isn't it nice to think about his sweetheart Jerry Falwell already in such a place, his vile throat constantly pounded by the razor-wire thousand-headed six-foot-long nuclear phallus of the Devil?

Anyway, these blacks, what are they saying "Sister!" to each other about? There is apparently a welfare dish known as "macaroni and cheese," and oh my the blacks simply love this concoction, whatever it is. But only once a year, at Thanksgiving, or perhaps also at Christmas. In this way, they worship their ancestral Voodoo goddess, the macaroni. Pat Robertson cannot believe the way these blacks are fucking up his holiday. For Thanksgiving, he sticks to a strict diet of orally extracted goat semen. [YouTube]

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Poor People Are Mad As Hell, And They're Not Going to Take It Anymore.

The Poor People's Campaign marched on Washington, and we were there!

Culture Wars
by Dominic Gwinn

Yesterday the new Poor People's Campaign, led by Rev. William Barber and Rev. Dr. Liz Theoharis, concluded 40 days of protest and civil disobedience with a rally on the National Mall. Building off of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr's original Poor People's Campaign 50 years ago, the new campaign is aimed at uniting labor leaders with activists to build a coalition of all marginalized people

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The police have clearly failed to stop the scourge of black kids selling water to thirsty people, so your average law-abiding, permit-respecting white lady has no choice but to take matters into her own (did we mention they were white?) hands. You might call her a busybody gone power mad or a simple tool of racist micoaggression, but we just call her "Permit Patty."

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