Arizona GOP Rep. Paul Gosar's Siblings Don't Want You To Vote For Their Terrible Brother
One can tell, just by looking at Arizona Rep. Paul Gosar, that he does not have many people in his life who truly love him -- for if he were loved by anyone, I would have to imagine that someone would have said to him, at some point "Paul. Those bangs. No."
Alas, his own family dislikes him so very much that not only have they clearly not told him that this haircut makes him look extremely creepy, but they have banded together to make ads endorsing his competition, Democrat David Brill -- and to let all of Arizona know that he is the worst.
Via Phoenix New Times:
In one video, Grace Gosar says, "It would be difficult to see my brother as anything but a racist."
The Gosar siblings have grown estranged from their brother, a four-term congressman, because of his frequent conspiracy theorizing and hair-raising comments about immigrants. Gosar is the eldest son of a family of 10 children who grew up in Wyoming. Many of his siblings don't share their brother's hardline views. One of his brothers, Pete Gosar, ran for governor of Wyoming as a Democrat in 2014.
Gosar, for the record, is super wacky. He once tried to institute a boycott of the Pope (and all... Pope products?) because he kept talking about climate change instead of talking about how Islam is bad. He also claimed that the Charlottesville Unite The Right rally was actually a left-wing plot (funded by George Soros, natch) to make Republicans look racist, because that is otherwise such a difficult thing to do.
It is not surprising that his family wants to let the world know that they are nothing like that. We all have embarrassing relatives, but at least most of us do not have to see said embarrassing relatives run for office.
Since we are about to open thread, I thought I would share with you one of my very own email exchanges with my dear mother, on the subject of my own desire to have short bangs when I was in high school and they were a "thing" for all the cool alterna-chicks.
Me: Yes mom, you're right about everything. Except bangs. You were totally wrong about bangs. Everyone agrees that I look better with them. So, HA.
Mommy Dearest: Not THOSE bangs. The really, really short bangs that only Louise Brooks could carry off but which, eventually -- and perhaps, ironically -- led her to Rochester, NY ! Where she DIED!
These are the bangs against which I tirelessly rail! The bad bangs! Some bangs are harmless and, even, wonderful. I am not a bangs bigot and will not allow you to paint me as such.
Please to recall: You were banished to this same "Rochester, NY " while still under my strict supervision de coiffure (to coin a phrase). You are alive and well (yet, bitter). Why might this be?
Please to do the mathematics: Rochester + really, really short bangs = Death
(x + y = z)
Therefore: x + not y = much better
Honestly, Robyn, you're becoming like the Emily Litella of childhood memories of abuse. I am a Divine Oracle. Deal with it.
See? That is love. My mother never let me leave the house with terrible bangs or spouting ridiculous conspiracy theories, and that is why I am the lovely and sense-making woman you see before you today. Anyway, it is now your open thread -- please give us some money, because I actually do need a new hair cut!
Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse