Donate

While we wait for the clock to strike All Hell Thirty, with the Manafort sentencing memo in DC due this afternoon and whatever else Our Hero Robert Mueller has in store for today, let's enjoy this fun preview from Bloomberg and the New York Times of possible charges against Manafort in New York state court. Because Mueller may be noping out for Ibiza (allegedly!), and we can't rule out the possibility that Commander Spray Tan might issue a pardon for his erstwhile ratfucking campaign manager. But the likelihood that Paul Manafort skates on all the crazy criminal shit he's gotten into is basically zero.

Wonkers, meet your new heroes Cyrus Vance (you take your heroes where you can get them), Mark Herring, Xavier Becerra, Karl Racine, and Brian Frosh. Those would be the Manhattan District Attorney and the Attorneys General from Virginia, California, DC and Maryland. And they are here to make sure Paul Manafort doesn't ride off into the sunset on a presidential pardon.


Our feelings about Cyrus Vance are ... complicated. (Also Mark Herring, ugh.) But if the Times is correct, Vance has already presented his case against Manafort to a grand jury, and charges are imminent.

Mr. Vance's office first began investigating Mr. Manafort in 2017 in connection with loans he received from two banks. Those loans were also the subject of some of the counts in the federal indictment that led to his conviction last year. But the state prosecutors deferred their inquiry in order not to interfere with Mr. Mueller's case.

They resumed their investigation in recent months, and a state grand jury began hearing evidence in the case, several people with knowledge of the matter said. The panel is expected to wrap up its work in the coming weeks, several of the people said, and prosecutors likely will ask the grand jurors to vote on charges shortly thereafter.

Manafort's lawyers will argue that double jeopardy laws protect their client from prosecution for the same crimes in state and federal court, but New York's tax laws and rules governing falsification of business records likely give rise to separate state offenses. And when Mr. Vance is done with Ol' Pauly, he can pass him along to the Attorney General of Virginia to see if any of the Commonwealth's financial regulations have been violated by Manafort's extensive money laundering scheme. There's also all that fuckery with Trump's PAC Rebuilding America, based in Virginia, possibly paying kickbacks to Manafort for ad buys by Multi Media Services, also based in Virginia. And don't forget, Rick Gates is obligated by his plea deal to cooperate with any and all investigations, so take due notice thereof and guide yourself accordingly, Mr. Herring.

And when Herring completes his work, he can hand Manafort over to Mr. Becerra in California. As in so many things, the Golden State is blessed with a running start, since Manafort's ex-son-in-law Jeffery Yohai has already agreed to cooperate and spill the beans on the scheme to take out a construction loan on Manafort's Brooklyn brownstone and funnel it into Yohai's real estate flipping business in Los Angeles.

And when Mr. Becerra is done, well, Brian Frosh and Karl Racine can flip a coin to see who goes next. Because if you commit all those crimes in NoVA, chances are law enforcement authorities in the District and the Land of Pleasant Living are entitled to take a bite, too. What we're saying here is, PAUL MANAFORT, U R FUCKD.

And also, where the hell is that sentencing memo? You know we love you, Bobby M. But you have ruined many a Friday night for us, Sir, and we'd greatly appreciate if you would just this once file a document before 4:57pm. WE ARE JUST SAYING.

[Bloomberg / NYT]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Please click here to keep Your Wonkette snarkin' through all this crazy shit!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Five Dollar Feminist

Your FDF lives in Baltimore under an assumed identity as an upstanding member of the PTA. Shhh, don't tell anyone she makes swears on the internet!

$
Donate with CC
'George,' by Wonkette Operative 'Nodakastani'

Bet you guys could do with some nice things about now, huh? So let's take a break from the usual grind of horrors and nastiness and look at some less miserable stuff for a while, shall we? Oh indeed we shall.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

I don't quite know how to tell you this, but a group of anti-abortion lunatics are currently urging people to stop immunizing their children on account of the fact that they believe that because some vaccines were made using cell lines from two aborted fetuses back in the 1960s, said vaccines are not only immunizing the world against disease, but against their prayers as well. They claim that were it not for these vaccines unfairly intervening with their plans, they would have overturned Roe v. Wade by now.

The group calls themselves Intercessors for America, and their whole deal is basically that they think prayers are literal magic and that if they pray super hard for leaders to do what they want, all of their wishes will come true. They send out a newsletter filled with extremely specific prayers for various politicians based on what they are doing that day and also have an "interactive prayer wall" on their site, which is actually just a Facebook comment section of some kind where a bunch of people are posting their prayers.

No, I did not press send. Though I was tempted.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc