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Pentagon, Spies & Military Contractors Too Busy Buying Child Pornography To Win Wars Or Whatever

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Who could resist raping a child when it's dressed in such a sexy spy-furry suit?


What's a great way to relax at work after a tough morning of approving new torture techniques or Predator-drone bombings of weddings and hospitals in Lower Povertystan? If you're one of the U.S. government employees and contractors of the Pentagon and its myriad criminal spy operations, "coffee break" means kicking back with some child pornography, that you bought using traceable methods and keep at work on the Pentagon computers. Child pornography! So now raping your own kids and selling the video isn't just scraping the very bottom of the moral sewer, it's also patriotic!

The Boston Globe apparently ran out of pedophile priest stories today, so some editor said, "Eh, check the next category of People Most Likely To Get Off On the Sexual Exploitation of Little Children," and sure enough the Pentagon is full of these people.

Federal investigators have identified several dozen Pentagon officials and contractors with high-level security clearances who allegedly purchased and downloaded child pornography, including an undisclosed number who used their government computers to obtain the illegal material, according to investigative reports.

.... A large amount of pornography was found on the office computer of a program manager at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, including images that appeared to be of children. DARPA is responsible for developing some of the military’s most secret weapons and technologies. Charges were not pursued because there were no images of known victims of abuse, something that is routinely needed to bring charges, the case summary said.

It's like there are long-term societal consequences to being a hyper-sexualized bloodthirsty nation of amoral idiots addicted to a downward spiral of Washington-sanctioned global murder, prescription drugs, triple-nitrate bacon-anus burgers and Internet porn that keeps "wearing out" because it never quite reaches the sensory horror of weeping bloodied Abu Ghraib prisoners being sodomized to death with gun barrels by U.S. Troops, for freedom. [Boston Globe/CBS News]

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On Monday, Gloria Vanderbilt -- socialite, jeans lady, and mom of Anderson Cooper -- passed away at the age of 95. In more normal times, this would merely result in a few obituaries and tributes about her life, and the requisite few RIP tweets.

Unfortunately, we do not live in normal times. These days, no celebrity can die without it becoming the purview of the crazypants QAnon cult, followers of which believe that no one ever dies under normal circumstances, especially not 95-year-old ladies.

Vanderbilt and her family were already something of an obsession with these people due to several "Q proofs" accusing her of doing magic spells, wearing magic illuminati owl necklaces, and [checks notes] doing something involving "red shoes," which the QAnon people think people only wear if they love sacrificing children to Satan.

Yes, this is a thing. No, I do not know if they are also mad at Elvis Costello.

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Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

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3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

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