Pete Buttigieg's Dick Brother-In-Law Being Dick On Fox News Now

We almost felt bad for a minute, writing about how Chasten Buttigieg's brother is being a homophobic dick and calling his brother a liar, after Chasten talked to the Washington Post and shared his story, including how his family initially rejected him, to the point that Chasten felt so pushed away that he left and eventually experienced homelessness. Oh yeah, and Chasten had the gall to suggest the family struggled financially, and wasn't just able to slam through the front door of an Olive Garden anytime they pleased and order off the regular dinner menu. But nah, his dick brother Rhyan Glezman, a country church pastor in Clio, Michigan, was talking to the right-wing press and calling his brother a liar, so fuck it, this is in the news now, so we'll write about it.

And we really don't feel bad now, because on Friday night, as we were hightailing it out of here for the weekend, Rhyan Glezman -- who says his family never rejected Chasten, and that this is just a story Pete Buttigieg made up because Pete Buttigieg is also a lying gay liar who lies -- decided to go park his ass on Laura Ingraham's Fox News white supremacist dickhead TV show. You know, the place where the host lady says Trump's baby jails for babies are just like "summer camp."

And oh golly, those two assholes together? Why, it was like one asshole had gotten split in half, like one of those secret magic medallions where somebody has one half and they have to go on a quest to find the other half, which was long ago stolen by a warlock, and when they put the two halves together, either the apocalypse happens or a bunch of candy falls out, we don't fucking know. Except that actually Glezman was the way bigger asshole here, and you'll see what we mean.

And you thought your family sucked.

Buttigieg's brother-in-law speaks out against Mayor

Ingraham began by asking Glezman if his family had indeed ever rejected Chasten. Glezman responded by saying it is SUCH AN HONOR to be on such "a great show," and that was when we knew for 100 percent certain that Rhyan Glezman is an asshole. Then he lied, at least assuming Chasten Buttigieg is telling the truth about his life story, and why would we believe some fundamentalist Christian dick knob over Chasten Buttigieg?

GLEZMAN: Absolutely not. It couldn't be further from the truth. There has absolutely never been any amount of shunning him from the family.

So he's definitely saying that what Chasten Buttigieg told the Washington Post he experienced from his family when he came out is a lie. Cool.

GLEZMAN: I love my brother dearly, I want the best for him, I want the best for Pete.

And yet here he is on Laura Ingraham, helping Fox News -- which has a weird and prurientobsession with attacking Pete Buttigieg right now -- advance a narrative that Pete and Chasten Buttigieg are just big liars. And he's doing it because he wants the best for them.

Ingraham, with an actual question resembling something a human person might ask:

INGRAHAM: Why would he make this up?

Glezman says it's just because otherwise Pete Buttigieg's story would totally suck. He's just a mayor and a Rhodes scholar and a combat veteran and a Harvard grad and the first openly gay major party primary candidate that's ever really been taken seriously. But, you know, other than that. (Said the country church preacher from Buttfuckistan, Michigan.)

And Glezman says that because of this, unfortunately his family has become the "victim" of this "rags to riches" fake news story. You know, the one his brother Chasten told the Washington Post.

Ingraham, with an actual question that, dare we say, exhibited even more latent humanity? A question that we might have also asked?

INGRAHAM: I'm sensitive to this issue of family coming out and commenting on other family members. Why don't you just pick up the phone and talk to either Pete or, you know, your brother-in-law? [sic] Why come on this show? I mean, we're glad you're on this show, but I don't understand, why don't you just pick up the phone?

GLEZMAN: I didn't sign up for this. The only reason I'm here is for the truth to prevail. If it was that easy, that would have already been done ...

They won't take his calls. Wonder why!

Rhyan Glezman says he hasn't talked to his brother in almost a year, since their grandmother's funeral -- you know, the one where he bragged last week that he actually HUGGED HIS GAY BROTHER, in order to prove that actually the family had never rejected him.

Know who has been rejected by the family? Not Chasten, for being gay. It was RHYAN, because he loves Jesus too much:

GLEZMAN: To be honest, our family dynamics has been rocky for nine to ten years. When I became a born-again believer in Jesus Christ, our family dynamic profoundly shifted. If there was any shunning, to be honest with you, just to share the truth, that would be myself bein' shunned over my brother.

That knocking sound you hear is Rhyan Glezman nailing himself to a cross he built in the backyard for just these occasions.

In summary and in conclusion, fuck this loser, we are DEFINITELY done talking about him now.

You know, unless he keeps going on Fox News and being an asshole, in which case we might get pissed off again.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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