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A smirking asshat who loves Trump? Imagine that.


Martin Shkreli, the alleged human being who became famous in 2015 for raising the price of a vital AIDS drug by 5000% and has refused to go away, ever, got himself kicked off the Twitter machine this weekend, and now all the Trumpkins and Tweeter misogynists are sad. After all, Shkreli was merely harassing Lauren Duca, the Teen Vogue writer who wrote a fine essay on Donald Trump as a gaslighting serial liar and who also kicked Tucker Carlson's ass, with her words, on his own teevee show, so really, it was her fault that Shkreli and the Online Howler Monkey Brigade had to harass her for being a woman on the internet.

Duca told BuzzFeed Sunday that Shkreli, whom she's never met, has been Tweeting at her and pretending to ask her to date him, which is not exactly likely given that A) she is married and B) he is a loathsome gunny sack full of decaying hyena innards.

“He has been harassing me for a while. It’s an ongoing thing,” she said. “He’s been actively tweeting about dating me.”

“I don’t know if he’s encouraging people to do this, but there’s been a small contingent of trolls telling me to sleep with him — but not that politely,” she said.

It's funny, you see, because telling a woman who she should fuck is an important part of our public discourse today, and would it hurt her to smile now and again, baby?

On Thursday of last week, Duca tweeted a screenshot of Shkreli's amusing and whimsical direct-message "offer" to take her with him to the Trump inauguration, and she replied with something less than enthusiasm:

Shkreli, who is quite a witty fellow, responded by changing his Twitter background to a collage of photos of Duca, as if he were a great big celebrity fanboy:

He also changed his Twitter profile photo, badly photoshopping his face over the face of Duca's husband. This is not creepy at all, this is very sophisticated trolling, and why didn't Duca find it flattering? It's only a joke.

Ms. Duca got all hysterical, as women on the internet sometimes do when men are good-naturedly telling them how fuckable they are, because they don't even belong on the internet, ha-ha, and Tweeted the images to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey, saying the photo made her feel sick:

Silly lady, don't you understand that by saying words about Donald Trump and being on Twitter, you are asking to be the object of harassment? But it is not harassment anyway, it is genuine affection and not creepy at all, as Shkreli replied:

Besides, doesn't Duca understand that it's a compliment for men to tell women how much they'd like to get into women's pants? What is she, frigid? It's exactly this kind of political correctness that oppressed white males were reacting to when they elected Donald Trump.

Shkreli posted several very amusing "Who, me?" Tweets, insisting he'd only posted a "collage" of Duca because he admired her so much, and if she doesn't like it she doesn't have to look at it, does she?

After all, our very own president-elect's son has explained that if women don't like being harassed, maybe they should find another line of work where they won't be harassed. Women really need to do something about all this harassment they allow to happen to them. Plus, they aren't being harassed anyway. It's love, HA-HA!

Eventually, Shkreli's Twitter account was suspended, and what a sad loss this is for free speech! Duca, completely missing the point, seems to think the problem might be misogyny, when in fact, it's women being such bitches and not having a sense of humor:

God, she's such an attention whore, isn't she? Or perhaps she's just multiple kinds of badass:

Duca also reached out to Megyn Kelly, saying she'd "love to do a segment with you on Trump-related harassment. These kind of attacks should be unacceptable across the aisle." And she even had a sympathetic word for Kellyanne Conway, who's worried about how Meryl Streep stirred up "people's worst instincts." Or not that sympathetic, perhaps:

In conclusion, Martin Shkreli seems like the current frontrunner for Trump's Secretary of Veterans Affairs, since he knows business good and respects women so much he honors them with collages to show how much he loves them.

[Guardian / Buzzfeed / Lauren Duca on Twitter]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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