Photographic Evidence of Your Seattle Meetup & Drinky Thing That Happened!


Wonketteers from the nation's upper-left quadrant converged on the final night of June, for an evening of drinkery, raillery, and possibly manifesto-writery at Seattle's Latona Pub, which theSeattle Weekly informs us "is not another hipster bar, thank you very much." We would not know one way or another, since Your Wonkette Correspondent got no more than a couple hundred miles from Boise before mechanical diffulties put the kibosh on his plans to attend the reader-organized festivities, more about which later. But did Stephen King need to have been alive during the Crimean War to write The Thin Red Badge of Mother Courage, now acclaimed as one of the most realistic blog posts about that conflict? Of course not! So here are photographs and a video of the excitement! Thanks to longtime readers Weejee for the pix and BoatOfVelociraptors for the vid!

The hootenanny commenced not far from the semi-famous Bettie Page mural, which was painted in 2006 as a birthday gift for the homeowner. Yay ART! Boo eaves!

And here are three photographs of the party itself; we do not have the names for most of these people, but perhaps they would like to identify themselves in the comments? We do know, from post-meetup comments, that the event was attended by these members of the Wonkette commentariat: Nostrildamus, WeeJee, BoatOfVelociraptors, Owls, Emmellemm, BigSkullFuckingDog, JonWhoDoesntComment, Isyaignert, savethispatient, and quite possibly others! The only person who actually identified himself in the last post on this meetup was a_pink_poodle, who says he is "the Asian looking guy in the cream colored light jacket and yellow shirt with the two headed eagle of the Holy Roman Empire on it" (WE SEE HIM!)

And finally, video of some sort of door-prizes thing, which was originally posted upside down but thanks to modern technology no longer simulates the view of an over-indulging Wonker:

(We are given to understand that the gentleman with the prizes is Weejee)

Also! A tale of automotive woe: En route to the Drinky Thing, Your Correspondent's beloved 1973 Chevrolet, Vlad the Impala, burned out its differential just outside of Baker Freakin' City Oregon, where it now awaits repair. After a night at a fine local motel, watching a great deal of cable TV, including the inexplicable Robert Altman Popeye movie (No really, why does this thing exist?) and an HBO documentary about the downfall of Rev. Ted Haggard, Your Correspondent was rescued by his ex, who is one hell of a nice human being.

Tl;dr: like Rev. Haggard, Your Correspondent spent a weekend burning out his rear end, and will be paying the price for a long time. Also, the Union wins the war, not like you could tell these days.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Republicans are devouring each other's carcasses, and we are here for it! Especially when one of those Republicans is King Kris of the Kansas Votefucker Klan ... errr, Clan! It's been a week since Kansans cast their votes in the gubernatorial primary, and the GOP looks to be rolling up its sleeves for a slugfest.

As we type, Kobach leads by 298 votes out of more than 314,000 cast -- a whopping 0.00095 percent, if you round up! The Kansas GOP begged Donald Trump to stay out of the race and leave the field clear for sitting governor Jeff Colyer, who took over when Sam Brownback wandered off to bring Jesus to the Hottentots on behalf of the US government. Safe bet that Colyer would be gearing up for the general election now if President Twitterthumbs hadn't flapped his yap. So thanks for that, Donny!

No, really, THANKS!

Remember the hanging chad debacle in Florida? Now picture it in a landlocked state with more cows than people. It's like fantasy island for Devin Nunes, ALLEGEDLY.

Oh, but we are to kid!

After first insisting he wasn't going to recuse from the counting, Secretary of State Kris Kobach (one and the same!) wrote Colyer a fabulously bitchy letter agreeing to hand off the tabulation to his deputy, Eric Rucker. Colyer had made the shocking suggestion that Kobach delegate responsibility to the Kansas attorney general, rather than his own political appointee, and Kobach was stretched out on the settee with a fit of the vapors at the gross impropriety of it all!

I will not breach the public trust and arbitrarily assign my responsibilities to another office that is not granted such authority by the laws of Kansas.

After several anguished paragraphs, Kobach closed by remonstrating that Colyer was betraying his office by destroying the faith of Kansans in the sacred integrity of their electoral process.

As governor of Kansas, your unrestrained rhetoric has the potential to undermine the public's confidence in the election process. May I suggest that you trust the people of Kansas have made the right decision at the polls and that our election officials will properly determine the result as they do in every election.

Said the guy whose entire adult life has been dedicated to whipping up panic about millions of imaginary illegal alien voters.

So now these two princes can kick the crap out of each other WITH VOTES, specifically, provisional ballots cast by unaffiliated voters under the supervision of poorly trained poll workers. Kansas holds closed primaries, meaning only registered Republicans can vote to select the GOP candidate, BUT an unaffiliated voter can cast a vote by checking a box identifying as a Democrat or a Republican at the polling place. This was news to some poll workers, who mistakenly directed over one thousand unaffiliated voters to use provisional ballots without checking the box indicating party preference. Whoops!

So, will those provisional ballots be counted based on voter intent? Or tossed based on strict interpretation of the statute? And does Kansas law mandate tossing mail-in ballots that arrive without a postmark on Wednesday, since there's no forensic proof that they were mailed before midnight on Tuesday? And how disgusted will the Kansas electorate be when one of these assholes emerges from the melée holding the other one's scalp? And how many millions of dollars are going to be spent on litigating the Republican primary while this nice lady Laura Kelly, the Democratic minority whip of the Kansas Senate, is out campaigning for November?

Even before this debacle, Kobach looked significantly weaker against Kelly than Colyer, with self-funded Libertarian Jeff Orman threatening to throw a wrench in the works. The Wichita Eagle reports on a Remington Research Poll conducted in July:

In a Kelly-Orman-Kobach race, the poll puts Kelly and Kobach effectively in a dead heat — 36 percent for Kelly and 35 percent for Kobach, with Kelly's lead within the margin of error. Orman has 12 percent.

Colyer leads in a three-way race with Kelly and Orman, according to the poll. In that scenario, Colyer receives 38 percent of the vote, while Kelly gets 28 percent and Orman receives 10 percent.

Which is ONE POLL, in a deeply red state, but ... Kobach is a crap candidate who's likely to emerge from this fight with two black eyes and a pissed off base. If there's anyone who can blow this election, it's Kris Kobach.

Keep fighting, Kris! You can do it! (And now we need a shower.)

And YOU need an OPEN THREAD!

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Money us, PLEASE! Throw a tip in the jar, or click here to keep your Wonkette snarking forever.

[Kobach letter / Wichita Eagle / Mother Jones / Kansas City Star]

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While most people spent this weekend telling Nazi punks to fuck off, a couple 11-year-olds were in Las Vegas hacking into voting machines. Why? BECAUSE IT'S FUN!

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  • Saturday, Aug 11th ....... Seattle, WA
    Discovery Park, 4-7pm
  • Sunday, Aug 12th ....... Bellingham, WA
    Sunnyland Park, 2-5pm
  • Sunday, Aug 19th ....... Spokane, WA
    Audubon Park, 2-5pm

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