Pillow Guy, Kid Rock, Proud Boys: It's A Big Weekend For Terrible Men Doing Weird Shit
Clearly, the combination of International Men's Day and the Kyle Rittenhouse trial has shaken something loose in the conservative male psyche, because a whole bunch of these tools are going right off the goddamned deep end this weekend. It was hard to pick just one to write about this morning, so I figured I'd do a rundown.
Surprise, One Of Them Is The MyPillow Guy
Gonna tell my kids this was Mike Lindell
MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell announced during his "broadcast" last night that he plans on doing a demonstration outside of Fox News. It's not clear what it is he wants to accomplish by doing this, if anyone will be joining him or if he will just be standing outside with a bullhorn, carrying a sign reading "The End Is Nigh."
Via The Daily Beast:
MyPillow CEO and 2020 dead-ender Mike Lindell has announced plans to organize a protest outside Fox News' New York City headquarters. "We are going to do something out in front of Fox News, I think we should have—you know, if people want to go down there, maybe we should give out Frank Speech signs," Lindell stated on his Friday evening broadcast. "They [Fox News] are a big part of our country being taken from us," he continued, before calling the network he built his pillow empire by advertising on "controlled opposition," which he said is the "worst" he has "ever seen in history."
I swear. The number of people who are having "their country" taken from them gets smaller every day. Pretty soon it's just gonna be Mike Lindell and a bunch of custom human shaped pillows.
This is actually the first thing that came up when I Googled 'Pillow People,' looking for one of the toys pictured above.
This Jan. 6 Rioter/Proud Boy Claims He Should Go Free, Because Of How He Is Just Like Kyle Rittenhouse
Philadelphia Proud Boy leader Zachary Rehl
We knew this was going to happen, right? Or something like it?
Lawyers for Zachary Rehl, the leader of the Philadelphia Proud Boys, filed a nonsense motion a day after the Rittenhouse verdict claiming that charges against their client should be dropped because of how he is just like Kyle Rittenhouse and was in DC to "defend vulnerable demonstrators." This, to be clear, was the exact opposite of what Kyle Rittenhouse did or even claimed to do. He was in Kenosha, supposedly, to defend a vulnerable used car lot.
"NOT UNLIKE WHAT KYLE RITTENHOUSE DID"\n\nOn same day as Rittenhouse verdict, defense for accused Proud Boy files this motion in January 6 case...\n\nIt argues the Proud Boys came to DC on Jan 6 to "defend vulnerable demonstrators" ===>pic.twitter.com/XT4Psgx2ec— Scott MacFarlane (@Scott MacFarlane) 1637426345
The motion, first reported by Scott MacFarlane, reads:
Actually, the Proud Boys primarily came to Washington, D.C. on January 6, 2021, to patrol the perimeter of the crowds and the places where crowds were gathered to defend vulnerable demonstrators against violent attacks from ANTIFA, not unlike what Kyle Rittenhouse did in Kenosah(sic), Wisconsin. The Government argues that the best evidence of what these proud boys planned to do is what they actually did. What did they do? What they actually did, as shown in one 1:40 hour segment of the Eddie Block raw video for his documentary was stand around, smoke a cigarette, take pictures facing away with the Capitol over their shoulder and patrol around a large rectangle around Capitol Hill taunting Antifa and chanting once at D.C. police "DO YOUR JOB!"
What they actually planned to do and did was make sure that the defenseless Trump supporters in the gun free zones of D.C. did not get jumped and stabbed by the rioters who had run amok all during 2020, as ANTIFA had stabbed people on December 12, 2020. However, within the terms of what the Indictment alleges, the Indictment admits that Zachary Rehl's intentions with regard to the Joint Session of Congress was for Congress to debate and resolve disputes about the Electoral College votes from disputed votes.
Well that last sentence is certainly something.
Rehl has not only been charged with "conspiracy, obstruction of an official proceeding and aiding and abetting, destruction of government property and aiding and abetting, entering and remaining in a restricted building or grounds, disorderly conduct in a restricted building or grounds," for his actions on January 6, he is also one of the named defendants in a lawsuit brought by Capitol Police officers against those they blame for the injuries and trauma they sustained during the riots. He has not been charged, to anyone's knowledge, with protecting "defenseless Trump supporters."
And Now, Kid Rock, Wearing A Very Large Fur Coat, Yelling About Snowflakes
Conservatives love to whine about left-wing celebrities, crying "Just shut up and entertain us!" every time one voices an opinion they don't care for. The Left doesn't have that luxury with right-wing celebrities, as we would generally prefer they abstain from attempting to entertain us. With the notable exceptions of James Woods, Jon Voight and Van Morrison, they tend not to be very good at it. Unfortunately for all of us, going full wingnut has sustained (or semi-revived) a career that by all rights should have ended decades ago.
Such is the case with Kid Rock, whose entire fanbase consists of people who are just glad to have anyone on their side that they are willing to pretend that obviously terrible songs are great.
Like his latest song "Don't Tell Me How To Live" (featuring Monster Truck), which is practically a parody of itself in both content and production value.
It's so bad. It's just so, so bad. And they're just pretending we all got totally owned by this terrible terrible song.
"So glad the Bull God is back," said some dude who apparently talks about wrestling for a living, "All you young millennials (a generation who by now are age 30 and above) can chew on this!"
So glad the Bull God is back. All you young millennials (a generation who by now are age 30 and above) can chew on this! pic.twitter.com/d7aPeEv6bI— Sam Roberts (@Sam Roberts) 1637454889
I would not like to chew on that, as I have no interest in picking fake fur out of my teeth for the next week. Ew.
The song — which also came highly recommended by Barstool Sports, if that tells you anything — hits pretty much all of the marks for a MAGA anthem. It included calling people snowflakes, yelling about participation trophies and, naturally, the phrase "soar like an eagle."
They love it when eagles soar.
It's almost kind of cute that they think we're all gonna be like "Oh no, we're so owned! We have been read for filth by this man, despite the fact that we can't even remember what the hell his one hit wonder even was! No one has talked to us like this before!" or something. Or it would be if they were not all raging sociopaths who never stop crying about other people being snowflakes and screaming for their own participation trophies.
Stephen and I will be back later today at 3:30pm EST/ 2:30pm Central for our Sunday livestream! It will be fun, we promise.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse