Pillow Salesman Invited To White House To Advise President On Enacting Martial Law
In January of 897 C.E., Pope Stephen VI had the corpse of his predecessor, Pope Formosus, dug up and put on trial. Because the corpse could not speak, Pope Steve sat him on a throne but had a deacon stand behind him, throw his voice and admit to doing all of the crimes and to not even really being a legit pope. As punishment, Pope Formosus's blessing fingers were chopped off and he was thrown into the Tiber, which probably didn't bother him much given that he had been dead for seven months.
There was once a time when we could look at stories like this from the past and go "Wow, that is totally bonkers, can you believe something like that actually happened?"
No more! Not really. Because a freaking pillow salesmen was photographed yesterday walking into the White House to share his plan on how to go about enacting martial law.
@MyPillowUSA CEO Michael Lindell shows off his notes before going into the West Wing at the White House on Friday,… https://t.co/zSFxpnRVbI— Jabin Botsford (@Jabin Botsford) 1610744426.0
Here is a transcript of the readable parts notes he was carrying with him.
… BE TAKEN IMMEDIATELY TO SAVE THE
...Colon NOW as Acting National Security
...him with getting the evidence of ALL the
...in the election and all information regarding
...using people he knows who already have security
...done massive research on these issues
...at Fort Mead [sic]. He is an attorney with cyber-
...expertise and is up to speed on election issues
....Insurrection Act now as a result of the assault on the
...martial law if necessary upon the first hint of any[STRIKETHROUGH]
...Sidney Powell, Bill Olsen, Kurt Olsen,
...DOD. Move Kash Patel to CIA Acting
....on Foreign Interference in the election. Trigger
...powers. Make clear this is China/Iran
...also used domestic actors. Instruct Frank
...the more broad
What we can get from this is that Lindell wants to install Frank Colon, an attorney with experience in cybersecurity issues based out of Fort Meade, as acting head of National Security, so that he can gather all of the evidence. This has come as quite a surprise to Frank Colon himself. Then he wants Trump to invoke the Insurrection Act and declare Martial Law at the first hint of something, we don't know, but it's probably not good. Somehow, Sidney Powell is supposed to be involved with all of this, as well as Bill Olsen and Kurt Olsen — who are reportedly attorneys that have been involved in efforts to undermine the election.
Honestly at this point I am surprised that this plan did not also involve Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen as well.
The next step is installing Kash Patel as CIA Acting Director. Curiously, Patel had also been mentioned by right-wing activist James Sullivan in a text that Rudy Giuliani shared on Friday morning, part of which read "I'll see what I can do with Kash."
The final part of the notes suggest that Trump needs to claim foreign interference in the election from China/Iran. In 2018, Trump signed an executive order that would allow him to impose sanctions on other countries for interfering with our elections, and it is possible that Lindell is looking to use this somehow to keep Trump in office — a thing he has been promising his Facebook followers would happen.
A pillow salesman, who smoked crack for about thirty years and thus probably has a significant amount of brain damage, was invited to the White House to share his thoughts and ideas about how to keep an unelected despot in power for the next four years (or for life). That is, frankly, no less weird than putting a corpse on trial and sentencing it to death by drowning. It is in the exact same ballpark as that.
We've got four days left until that kind of thing becomes absurd again — and it can't come too soon.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse