Pillow Salesman Willing To Lessen Sentences Of 'Election Criminals' If They Confess To Him
Mike Lindell is still on it. While most Republicans at this point have given up on believing that some "thing" is going to happen that will make it so Trump will be made president again (or at least are not being quite as vocal about it), he is still out there trying to make it happen, grasping as tightly onto the 45th president as he is to that MyPillow in the above picture.
In a recent interview with noted diaper fetishist Charlie Kirk, Lindell made a variety of bizarre claims related to his ongoing plans to prove that the election was stolen from Donald Trump and reinstall him as the president of the United States. Among them was that getting sued by Dominion was his plan all along because now the court will have to hear his "evidence." This would be the same "evidence" that he went over in his three-hour "documentary" about how Trump won the election, called "Absolute Proof."
"There will be a big surprise of evidence. There's going to be, I'll tell you this, there's going to be whistleblowers, there's going to be people that work within organizations that are going to come forward, so they don't get longer prison sentences," Lindell stated at one point during the almost hour-long discussion.
"I will tell everyone out there right now if you want to reach out to me, you probably should, if you're one of the criminals, because maybe you can work out a deal, so you don't the longest sentences," Lindell further declared. "It's kinda like back to the old mafia days."
"This is going to be so broad, and just explode," Lindell added.
Imaginary voter fraud conspiracy aside, exactly how does Mike Lindell plan on getting anyone lesser sentences? How? In his capacity as a pillow salesman? Does he think he's a DA? Or perhaps the attorney general of the United States? It's not totally clear how he would work this, his being a pillow salesman and all.
Also in his plan? Getting banned by all the social media networks! In the sense that literally everything that happens to him was "the plan" all along.
Lindell also explained, at multiple times during the interview, that he is on the precipice of coming out with a social media site that will be even bigger than Twitter.
"What we're going to do, it's going to take four or five weeks, we're going to have this platform coming out that all the influencers in this country will be able to go to and not worry about YouTube and actually be able to talk," Lindell told Kirk. "So what we're doing, we're launching this big platform, so all the voices of our country can come back and start telling it like it is again."
"It's not just like a little Twitter platform," Lindell stated before adding that the project has been in the works for four years.
He does not seem to understand that people other than those who got kicked off of Twitter will have to actually join it in order for that to happen, and that most people out there are not chomping at the bit to join MyPillowSpace.
I don't think Mike Lindell is doing any of this cynically. He really believes with his whole entire heart that even Democrats are going to hear his "evidence" and exclaim, "Wow, the election was really stolen from Donald Trump! I can't believe it, but I have to admit it is true!" He believes that Trump not only won the election, but that he won it in a landslide, winning all but five states. Curiously, he has amended this belief to now claim that Democrats didn't have anything to do with it and it was all China and other countries. Because in his mind, Donald Trump is deeply beloved by all in this country and everyone is just as sad as he is that Trump is not president anymore. After all, that belief is actually very necessary to his other belief that Trump won in a landslide.
He really does imagine that all of these "election criminals" are going to come out of the woodwork and confess their evil crimes, because he sincerely and with all his heart believes those crimes happened. He believes that everyone is going to leave Twitter and join his social media site that he is inventing — and if that doesn't happen, if none of this happen, it will all be exactly what he planned would happen all along.
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Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse