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Everyone is getting tired of this


Are we still talking about Planned Parenthood stealing baby parts from your lady cave, in the dead of night, to sell on Amazon? (Order with Prime and have it by tomorrow!) Yes, we are, groan and growl and MANY EXPLETIVES!

So fine. Let's do this. Because "pro-life" boo-hooers are still (still!) claiming there are these videos that show Planned Parenthood doing evil Nazi crime things to babies, for fun and profit and bowel movements and chuckles. Is it bullcrap? You know it is. Georgia, Indiana, Massachusetts, and South Dakota have already investigated their local PPs and found nothing. NOTHING, DO YOU HEAR US?

The Department of Health and Human Services has also looked into whether government researchers are perhaps experimenting on illegal baby parts, and guess what the feds found! All together now: NOTHING.

Florida thought for half a second that it found a something, but nope! The "illegal" "second trimester" abortions it uncovered were actually "legal" "first trimester" abortions under the state's own definition of first trimester abortions. So Florida was like, "Oops, sorry, our bad, never mind," and Planned Parenthood was like, "That's RIGHT, your bad, GFTO or we will sue you where the sun don't shine, even in Florida."

The hugenormous NOTHING that all these investigations have thus far uncovered has not stopped anyone who already wanted to murder Planned Parenthood, before this latest clusterscrew started, from premeditating how to do that. Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal has flouted federal law by telling poors they cannot use their Medicaid at Planned Parenthood for their pap smears and other lady bidness. Do you know how many abortions Planned Parenthood does in Louisiana? ZERO. So do your quick math to calculate how reason Jindal has to be concerned that fetal tissue is getting bought and sold in his state. LESS THAN ZERO, if that is a thing, and we figure it must be. And yes, Jindal is a heartless bastard and a moron.

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Are we done yet? Sit back and put your feet up because NOT. EVEN. REMOTELY.

These scumbags behind the Center for Medical Progress were recently busted for stealing a picture of a grieving woman's stillborn baby and trying to pass it off as intact fetus that Planned Parenthood then killed, for money. After the mother saw her dead baby in their video, she was like, "HEY, THAT'S MY STILLBORN BABY, YOU COCKS." So the group's founder and spokesvirgin David Daleiden was like, "Oh, we never said it was one of them abortions from Planned Parenthood, we just wanted to gross people out and let them assume that's what it was." Nice, huh? And definitely not deceptive. It's just journalism, yo!

So what's the latest? A third-party analysis of the videos, commissioned by Planned Parenthood, says even the "unedited" videos are also edited and NOT credible:

Fusion GPS utilized experts in video forensics, production, and transcription to review five of the videos produced by [Center for Medical Progress]. The team analyzed both the highlight videos that have been widely circulated in the media, as well as the longer “full footage” versions of those videos that were released sometimes days later. [...]

The report found that while there was no evidence CMP inserted dialogue into the videos, it concluded that CMP edited content out of the alleged “full footage” videos and heavily edited the short videos so as to misrepresent statements made by Planned Parenthood representatives.

Is there more? Yeah, there's more:

A transcription service was hired to transcribe the videos, without being told that Planned Parenthood was the client, to compare with transcripts publicized by the anti-abortion group. That comparison, the analysis said, showed “substantive omissions” from the group’s version.

Oh yeah? Like how?

Fusion GPS also raises significant doubts about two phrases that Planned Parenthood technicians in one video appear to utter as they analyze tissue in a lab. Both phrases — “it’s a baby” and “another boy” — have been highlighted by CMP allies, who say they’re evidence of Planned Parenthood’s cavalier practices.

Fusion GPS concluded that the statement “it’s a baby” was not technically heard and that the technician’s words should have been deemed unintelligible: “In our view, CMP created the purported statement, “it’s a baby,’ either through transcription error or intentional fabrication.”

And it determined that the “another boy” comment was taken dramatically out of context and might have even been said in response to a question by the CMP operatives that was later cut from the tape.

Is there more than that? Yeah, there's more than that:

According to the investigation, the reviewers could not determine “the extent to which C.M.P.’s undisclosed edits and cuts distort the meaning of the encounters the videos purport to document.” [...]

For example, [forensics expert Grant] Fredericks said recordings in Houston and Denver were each missing about 30 minutes of video, judging from time stamps and frame counters on the recordings.

So how does CMP explain itself? Bathroom breaks:

The absence of bathroom breaks and waiting periods between meetings does not change the hours of dialogue with top-level Planned Parenthood executives eager to manipulate abortion procedures to get high-quality baby parts for financially profitable sale.

Got that? CMP released hours of supposedly raw footage, but spared the viewers at home a few boring minutes here and there, when the evil Planned Parenthood people were just powdering their noses is all. Totally credible. (Totally being sarcastic there.)

Despite all of this NOTHING, "pro-lifers" are butthurt anger cubs because Planned Parenthood isn't rotting on death row yet. Look at James O'Keefe, the godfather of deceptive video editing and failed attempts at entrapment, pissing in his own cereal:

It sure is unfair how Planned Parenthood gets states to spend all these tax dollars to investigate it, per the demands of dickweasels like O'Keefe and Daleiden and all the other "pro-life" groups, and then manages to get itself cleared of wrongdoing, isn't it? (No. It is not.)

Planned Parenthood pony-expressed this report to Congress and was all, "Hey, check it out, these videos some of you are citing as proof that we got caught doing a something are, in fact, SO MUCH BULLCRAP." Because abortion is legal, fetal tissue donation is legal, and those CMP straw dicks are a bunch of lying liars who lie.

Naturally, the cunt rods who don't care about factual statements to begin with will be sure to ignore the facts and keep yammering about how Planned Parenthood is bad, evil, and EWWWW for doing health things to lady vag parts. But at least all of us who are not A Idiot know the truth -- that Planned is freakin' awesome, and we love it. And given that the huge majority of Americans feel that way (even Republicans!!!), if the "pro-lifers" keep trying to do means to Planned Parenthood, it's gonna backfire right in their stupid faces. As it should.

[Mother Jones / POLITICO / RH Reality Check / NYT / POLITICO]

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