Plastic Surgery Outcomes That Changed Careers! Tabs, Wed., Jan. 13, 2021
To begin, some good news: Former Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder, who poisoned the entire city of Flint, how's about we put you in jail? (AP)
Oh how Trump loved the show. — Amanda Marcotte at Salon
Liz Cheney will vote for impeachment (Mailchimp); Ben Sasse said Trump was "delighted" (Vox); Mitch McConnell says privately the president has committed impeachable offenses. I know I'm not nearly cynical enough, particularly as my profession is "being Wonkette," but I do think the stated-as-fact "McConnell wants to get rid of Trump for losing Republicans the Senate" really doesn't capture what happened in there. Sure Mitch hates Trump for losing them the Senate, and a million things before then. But that was before Trump TRIED TO HAVE ALL OF CONGRESS MURDERED. I would have shit my pants and then cried THE WHOLE TIME. McConnell can want Trump impeached without it being "Georgia Senate." He can want him impeached because HE KRISTALLNACHTED THEM. (New York Times, or anywhere else on the Internet)
Acting US Attorney for DC Michael Sherwin promises a whole bunch of cases coming, and not just "unlawful entry." — CNN video
In case you needed someone to walk you through why yes, it was a coup: Fiona Hill at Politico
The Joint Chiefs' statement about NOPE, NUH UH. (CNN)
The military has a hate group problem, and their solution has been WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE. — Politico
I made you a tweet.
we've secretly replaced this man's cocaine with well whatever the fuck this is https://t.co/W9Edaybhtu— Master Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette Editrix, King (@Master Rebecca Schoenkopf, Wonkette Editrix, King)1610463364.0
Trump's been thrown off goddamn SHOPIFY. You know who hasn't? Your Wonkette Bazaar!
Still wondering where FBI Director Chris Wray is? So is Business Insider!
FBI (still not Chris Wray): Oh THAT domestic terrorism intel! (NBC News)
"hi mom remember the time you told me I shouldn't go to BLM protests bc they could get violent…this you?" Yes. Yes it was. (LGBTQ Nation)
Helena is part of a 100 year old American tradition: doxing racists. — Vice
Oh shit hold the presses, Deutsche Bank is "unlikely" to keep lending Trump more hundreds of millions of dollars, HOW WILL HE LIVE. Oh right, all that money from his superpac. (Wall Street Journal)
Trump's approval rating is down to a third of Americans, and 71 percent of Republicans. That is very, very low for the lockstep idiots who en masse proclaimed him God Emperor. — Q Poll
And Joe Biden would like some trillions of dollars to invest in our country not dying, please and thank you Old Handsome Joe. (NBC News)
Hey pal, spare a dime?
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.