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After this weekend's horrific yet depressingly preventable mass shootings in El Paso, Texas, and what Donald Trump believes was Toledo, Ohio, Republicans have focused on the scourge of video games and make-believe baby killing. They've actively avoided seriously addressing gun violence in America. Fortunately for the NRA-owned GOP, accountability is easy to dodge because it moves more slowly than the rounds from a high-powered .223 caliber firearm.

The president's paid bullshit artist, Kellyanne Conway, turned up this morning on "Fox & Friends" to feign human emotion and peddle lies while dealing rhetorical Three-Card Monte. She's upset that Democrats have "politicized" these tragic murders by trying to address their root causes like common lawmakers. Worse, they're not even politicizing American deaths fairly because there's blame to go around for everyone, specifically unrelated Democrats.

CONWAY: Let me tell you something. I'm hopping mad this morning, because I seen very little scant coverage that this Dayton shooter has been confirmed as having a Twitter feed that was supportive of Antifa, that's supportive of Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders...

The Dayton shooter's Twitter feed probably also indicated that he saw Avengers: Endgame because practically everyone saw Avengers: Endgame. It doesn't mean Captain America inspired his murder spree. Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders have never actively promoted violence, especially not gun violence. Republicans keep telling us that Warren in particular is coming for all our penis substitutes. Warren and Sanders don't regularly demonize the demographic to which the Dayton victims belonged. John Hinckley liked Jodie Foster, but she wasn't responsible for Ronald Reagan's attempted assassination -- unless Kellyanne Conjob plans to blow that cold case wide open.


America has more guns than people. We're basically just protecting guns at this point. Guns will run and grab a Republican from the safe if they think someone's breaking in to regulate them. Sure, some of the people guns own are probably left-leaning. It's basic math. Conway is shamelessly clouding the issue because that's what passes for her job. Professionals who've dealt with terrorism can draw a direct line from Trump's incendiary rhetoric and the contents of the El Paso shooter's manifesto. It's not just a matter of the shooter wearing a MAGA hat in his Instagram photos.

George Conway, whose marriage to Kellyanne binds her to the mortal world, shared a clip of former Republican Nicolle Wallace laying this out very clearly for all the stupid people in the back.

Kellywise the Dancing Clown roasted Beto O'Rourke for being so angry over the brutal deaths of people from his home town. She grossly argued that O'Rourke and Ohio Rep. Tim Ryan are only mouthing off at Trump to resuscitate their failing presidential campaigns. She can't understand their grief because she's never felt an emotion that wasn't itemized on her tax returns.

CONWAY: [Democrats] politicized this over the weekend and the president did not respond in kind.

It's true the president doesn't respond to anything kindly, but he did blame his reliable punching bag, the "fake news" media for ruining his golf weekend. George Conway had predicted that Trump's true narcissistic, empathy-free self would emerge not long after giving a speech where he pretended he was a mammal. Laughably, Trump went full asshole before his script was loaded into the presidential teleprompter.

Meanwhile, Kellyanne Conway gaslit us all with the ludicrous claim that Donald Trump wants to "bring the country together and heal a nation." No one is dumb enough to believe that.

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Barack Obama, a legitimate president, did attempt to "heal" the nation yesterday, but Conway blamed him for the rise in gun violence that was the direct result of Congressional Republicans letting the assault rifle ban expire during George W. Bush's administration.

CONWAY: Did I mention that in [Obama's] presidency there were about 24 mass shootings, about three times the number or much higher [FUCK IT -- SHE CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH FIGURES AND DATA] than the number of the three administrations previous to his combined. Nobody blames [Obama] for Newtown, Connecticut! And he had his opportunity to go heal the nation!

Why won't mean old Obama let Trump have his turn with the national tragedy toy! The liberal media must've ignored the virulent anti-children rhetoric Obama spread at his rallies -- probably because it never happened. This is definitely the worst thing to come out of Kellyanne Conway's mouth until the next time she's on our TV.

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He recently fled Seattle, where he did theatre work for Book-It Rep and Cafe Nordo.

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