One day soon, we won't have to brace ourselves at the end of every week for whatever assault on democracy the White House wants to Friday News Dump after everyone has commenced getting quarantine wasted. They've already commuted Roger Stone's conviction, dropped the case against Michael Flynn, and ratfucked SDNY. There are rumors that Trump plans an executive order this evening mandating that the census exclude non-citizens, but who even knows.

To steel ourselves for the onslaught, let's spend some time enjoying these congressional race ratings changes courtesy of the Cook Political Report's Dave Wasserman. Because it's not enough to win back the White House — we need to kick their asses up and down the ticket.

The short story is, Donald Trump is wildly unpopular, and he's killing the GOP in the suburbs. The long story is HAFUCKINGHA, YOU GOP ASSHOLES TIED YOURSELF TO THAT DEMENTED DEMON, AND NOW'S HES DRAGGING YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH HIM. REMEMBER WHEN LINDSEY GRAHAM SAID "IF WE NOMINATE TRUMP, WE'LL GET DESTROYED, AND WE'LL DESERVE IT"? YOU ARE, AND YOU DO, EAT SHIT.

Ahem.


If Wendy Davis, queen of the filibuster, takes out that Tea Party weasel Chip Roy, it will be so beautiful. Texas-21, which includes parts of San Antonio and the Austin suburbs, went for Trump by 10 points in 2016. But two years later, Roy only carried it by a three-point margin. And Davis outraised him by more than $2 million in the last quarter. Go, Wendy, go!

In the Omaha and Cincinnati suburbs, Trump's toxicity with college-educated voters is posing a problem for Republican incumbents Don Bacon and Steve Chabot, both of whom survived in 2018 by the skin of their teeth. Similarly Indiana-05's open seat in the Indianapolis suburbs may prove too hard for the GOP to hang on to with that orange shitgibbon at the top of the ticket. And if you lose, the devil gets your soul!

Meanwhile over at the Washington Post, David Weigel has a nice piece up on all the money Democrats are raking in. Biden has caught up to Trump, raising $282 million last quarter, compared to the president's $266 million haul. Because Citizens United is a blight on the country, but if they want to play it like that, then bring it, bitches. A hundred million here, a hundred million there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money — enough to broaden the map to places like Texas and Georgia, while that spray-tanned lunatic is tilting at windmills in New Hampshire and New Mexico.

Trump has more cash on hand today, but, Weigel notes, "some of the money might not be spent as efficiently." Golly, whatever can he mean by that? It's so mysterious!

And in the competitive Senate races, Dems are outraising Republicans across the board. Here, let's listicle this shit, because it's Friday.

  • Maine: Gideon $9.2 million, Collins $3.6 million
  • Colorado: Hickenlooper $5.2 million, Gardner $3.6 million
  • North Carolina: Cunningham $7.4 million, Tillis $2.6 million
  • Montana: Bullock $5.3 million, Daines $3.7 million
  • Arizona: Kelly $12.8 million, McSally $9.3 million

Even in South Carolina and Kentucky, which are long shot races, we're pulling in a shit ton of cash. Jaime Harrison netted $14 million last quarter to Lindsey Graham's $8.4 million, and Amy McGrath beat Mitch McConnell $17.4 million to $12.2 million. And while money isn't everything, you sure as shit can't compete without it.

But don't get too excited, you guys. Donald Trump may be getting killed in the polls where they actually call up people and ask who they plan to vote for, but he's winning where it really counts.

That's right, the boat people are going to bring this election home for the Gipper. You bet!

[Cook Political / WaPo]

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.

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