The polls are closed, and with 40.6% of the vote, hotshot Boston attorney Alan Shore has been chosen to save the White House's ass if Democrats win Congress and start mass-producing subpoenas. You're a winner, Alan! Care to make a speech?

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Last night, I went to bed with a book. Not as much fun as a 29 year old, but the book contained a speech by Adlai Stevenson. The year was 1952. He said, "The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live and fear breeds repression. Too often, sinister threats to the Bill of Rights, to freedom of the mind are concealed under the patriotic cloak of anti-Communism."

Today, it's the cloak of anti-terrorism. Stevenson also remarked, "It's far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them."

Well, shit. Great choice, everybody. I hope you visit Cheney in prison.

Shore basically swamped the competition, with Powerline blogger John Hinderaker scoring the highest (14.3%) of any real-life human candidates. Nancy Grace is disqualified from that bracket, as she is 1/4 mythological creature. (Also, we hear she got a kidney transplant from a child rapist. Keep it on the DL.)

Poll: There Is a Cancer on the Presidency, And I Am the Chemo [Wonkette]

Can Alan Shore Save America From Itself? [Howl @ the Moon]

-- David Weigel