Nothin's gonna stop him now... oh, shoot.

You may remember former Virginia governor Jim Gilmore, who was, at least on paper, an actual Republican candidate for president longer than Carly Fiorina, Chris Christie, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Mike Huckabee, George Pataki (who?), Lindsay Graham, Bobby Jindal, Scott Walker, and Rick Perry. If you don't remember him, that's maybe because he polled so badly they didn't even let him into most of the Kids' Table debates. Take our word for it, he really was a candidate.

But now that he is a former presidential candidate, he isn't having much luck cashing in on the "I ran for president" gravy train. The Virginia GOP won't even let him be a delegate to this summer's Republican National Convention. Yr Wonkette advises him not to say he can't get any respect, lest he be sued by the estate of Rodney Dangerfield.

Republicans at the Virginia state convention rejected Gilmore’s bid to be one of the state’s 13 at-large delegates. The rejection from his own party insiders comes a few months after Gilmore’s poor showing in this year’s presidential contest.

Gilmore had hoped his GOP pedigree as a former Virginia governor and chairman of the Republican National Committee would earn him a spot as a state delegate.

The former candidate has not said which of the remaining GOP candidates (Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, or a 15-ounce package of Steak-Umms) he would throw his support to in the event of a contested convention, so the state party has made it clear they don't have room for any undecided delegates. The state convention chose 10 delegates for Ted Cruz, and three for Trump.

Gilmore insists he doesn't take the rejection personally, saying, "It's a power play."

Gilmore's campaign somehow failed to catch fire after the candidate received only 12 votes in the Iowa Caucus and 133 votes in the New Hampshire primary. Nonetheless, Gilmore told the local paper he still has a national following, by which we suppose he means Rachel Maddow, who has called him her imaginary boyfriend. He also intends to attend the RNC on his own dime, raising the possibility of an exciting "spot Jim Gilmore" drinking game.

At least the state GOP chair has asked him to help with a get-out-the-vote effort come November. For his sake, we hope it won't involve having to dress up in a Betsy Ross costume and stand on a corner waving a sign.

[USA Today / via Wonkette Operative "Jacob J"]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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The Church of Scientology had some thoughts about Our Robyn's piece, Who Wants To Watch A Creepy White Guy Rap About Scientology? We had some thoughts about their thoughts.

Thanks for writing in, Scientology! As you doubtless realized when you didn't demand we take down our story, but requested it instead, our opinions of your weird cult and that poor young man's rap skills are protected by the First Amendment. (I learned about libel law in college and grad school but also on the job: I was in newspapers so long that I was actually colleagues with Tony Ortega -- about whom you sound quite "venomous" and "biased" -- at the very same newspaper chain you can't believe he defended! Next up, please show your due diligence by talking trash about a woman you didn't know was my mom.)

Also, a lot of your former members say on the record that you kidnap people, and stalk them, and harass them, and sometimes beat them up good, and I request that if so, fucking stop it.

The rest of you click the headline, if you want your OPEN THREAD.

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Monday's Trump-Putin press conference landed on the entire free world like a hot treason-shaped turd, didn't it? Congressional Republicans have been saying mean things about it on Twitter, and even Fox News has been less than 100% supportive! The White House communications department obviously knew it had a crisis on its hands, what with how it's generally considered inappropriate for the leader of the free world to get on all fours in front of the Russian president and wag his tail and slobber with anticipation while he awaits his next marching orders. WOMP WOMP, etc.

So the comms department typed up a thing for the president to read aloud today at the beginning of his meeting with members of Congress, about how he was VERY SORRY he said one word incorrectly during the Putin presser. That's right, only one word of that whole fucking shitshow was wrong. All the rest of his traitor words were exactly what he meant to say.

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