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Poor Paul Ryan Reduced to Enduring Hecklers Who Haven’t Even Paid $15 Each to Yell at Him

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Boy does time fly! It seems like just yesterday that Paul Ryan was charging his constituents $15 each to come yell at him at town halls. But now times have changed! Paul Ryan is a Vice Presidential candidate, which means that he has to let people come yell at him WITHOUT EVEN GIVING HIM MONEY. Like yesterday, when he went to the Iowa state fair in Des Moines and had to just stand there until cops intervened to protect him from a lady yelling questions like ARE YOU GOING TO CUT MEDICARE (yes, of course he is, DUH) and STOP THE WAR ON THE MIDDLE CLASS (*cough* Communists *cough*).

Poor, poor Paul Ryan was reduced totelling the crowd that since Iowans and Wisconsinites “like to be respectful with one another, and peaceful with one another and listen to each other these ladies must not be from Iowa or Wisconsin." Yes, Paul Ryan is so respectful and peaceful, probably because he is from Wisconsin. Like that one time he politely and respectfully made jokes and laughed as cops wrestled an old man the ground because he dared to point out all the six ways that the Ryan Plan would screw him from Sunday, or the other time he politely and respectfully filibustered his own town meeting so he wouldn't have to hear what constituents had to say about his plan to ruin their lives. For funsies, here he is at a "listening" session back in 2011, interrupting everyone and lecturing at anyone who asks him tough questions and then finally just asking a bunch of them to leave.

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Even Dinsdale was frightened of Doug ... He used sarcasm. He knew all the tricks: dramatic irony, metaphor, bathos, puns, parody, litotes and satire.

Yr Wonkette is no stranger to the double-edged weapon of sarcasm, we'll admit. OR WILL WE? It's part of our postmodern toolkit, with which we seek to undermine patriotism, faith, the free market, the family, and ultimately America itself. Duh. But we would never be so naive as to think we have a monopoly on irony and sarcasm, oh no, far from it. This week, we dip into the sludge of deletia for some brilliant examples of cutting rightwing wit turned back on us, with devastating results. Hope you're not all TRIGGERED so much you have to go find a SAFE SPACE, libs!

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This weekend, hundreds of people are gathering in Denver, Colorado for the 2018 Flat Earth Conference -- two whole days of people with suspiciously Andy Warhol-like hair yelling "Where's the curve?!?" and talking about ice walls -- and we are missing out! Flat earthers are kind of the best of all conspiracy theorists, because aside from a few fascists and anti-Semites in the mix, they are mostly harmless cranks who just want to feel like they are way smarter than all of the scientists. As far as I know, believing in a Flat Earth, while stupid, has never hurt anyone -- which is honestly kind of refreshing these days!

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