Posh-Ponce David Cameron To Beg Forgiveness For BP-Libyan Conspiracy
David Cameron, Elizabeth Windsor's chief boot-lick and First Lord of the Treasury, has arrived in the United States for his very first visit as master of Britain's decaying empire (motto: "We still rule Bermuda and Pitcairn Island with an iron fist!"). He was sort of hoping that he could just get some quality time in with hismain crush Barack Obama, but now he has to go kiss some old Senator ass because BP arranged for the release of a terrorist mass murderer, which, for the record, is totally not his fault, man.
Ha ha, so here is the story! Remember Abdel Baset al-Megrahi? He had been convicted of masterminding the Lockerbie bombing that killed a bunch of people, mostly Americans, in a plane that was flying over Scotland, and he was in a Scottish jail, but got released last year because he was "dying," supposedly (even though it's ten months later and he's not dead yet)? This was the source of some controversy at the time, because everyone was so shocked about how liberal Scotland had become since Braveheart times. But now there are whispers that a certain company once known as "British Petroleum" leaned on the Scots to send al-Megrahi back to his native Libya, so BP could drill for all the precious, precious oil that country has been greedily hoarding all these years.
Anyway, now Cameron has to take time out of his busy schedule to nod sagely at Schumer and Gillibrand and Lautenberg and Menendez and promise to look into this, even though the whole affair was under the control of the Scottish government, not the UK central government, and anyway Cameron wasn't Prime Minister at the time and was actually against the release. Here, some snooty Brit in a Tory mouthpiece puts it in language we can understand:
So perhaps our American friends would do well to consider this: holding David Cameron responsible for the actions of Scottish Nationalist Party ministers in 2009 is like holding Barack Obama responsible for the actions of the Supreme Court of Texas and its Republican governor in 2007.
Ha ha, silly Brit, you think Americans are capable of distinguishing between different kinds of foreigners! Isn't that precious.