Pour One Out For Josh Hawley, The REAL Victim Of The Capitol Riot
There are only two rules to GOP politics. Rule One: Republicans are always the victim. Rule Two: When in doubt, see Rule One. So it's no surprise that GOP Senator Josh Hawley has penned an opinion piece for the New York Post mourning the real victim of the Capitol Riot.
Spoiler Alert: It's Josh Hawley, whose "social credit score" has "taken a nosedive this month."
Hmmmm, did anything else happen this month, Senator?
In the cover story for a major tabloid catering to a city of eight million people with a nationwide online readership, Hawley explains why "It's time to stand up against the muzzling of America." Because if there's anyone who's muzzled, it's a guy with his own press secretary and carte blanche to air his bullshit on every Rupert Murdoch platform this side of the Atlantic.
"Everyone knows what a credit score is. But social credit scores are new," Hawley opens. "They're the latest corporate import from Communist China, where government and big business monitor every citizen's social views and statements." Because when corporate donors exercise their right of association and quit subsidizing politicians who flogged the "stop the steal" fascist Big Lie about the presidential election, it is exactly like the government grading citizens based on their political fealty.
"For those who still believe in free speech and the First Amendment, this is the time to take a stand," says the Harvard-educated lawyer who pretends not to know the difference between social opprobrium caused by his own disgraceful conduct — which, reminder, we are talking about his role in helping incite the domestic terrorist attack on the US Capitol — and government censorship.
This was not a distinction he was confused about when he condemned Nike for canceling its planned American flag sneakers at the behest of activist Colin Kaepernick. Back then he was perfectly willing to "cancel culture" Nike. But now that Simon & Schuster shitcanned his book, he's a veritable second class citizen, forced to decamp to ... another publisher.
So if you want to get a good job, stay at hotels and be served at restaurants, you will need to do a few other things. You will need to voice the right opinions. You will need to endorse the right ideas. You will need to conform. That's what the corporate chieftains tell us, anyway.
Poor, oppressed Josh Hawley! He'll be taking a knee at Starbucks next.
Hawley goes on to make the ludicrous claim that he wasn't trying to overturn the results of the election, he was just asking questions! Which conveniently elides the fact that he actually voted to discard the votes of seven million Pennsylvanians because he thinks maybe the mail-in ballot law passed by the state's Republican legislature violates the Keystone constitution. How this is "representing my constituents" in Missouri, Hawley does not say.
And he conveniently omits all the times he claimed the results of the election were in doubt, validating the MAGA loons who believed the election was stolen and eventually stormed the Capitol to take it back by force. MoJo has a great rundown, but the most damning example is Hawley's January 4 appearance on Fox News (more muzzling!) when Bret Baier asked Hawley if he expected Trump to get a second term.
"Well, Bret, it depends on what happens on Wednesday. It's why we have the debate," Hawley responded. As if there were still something "patriots" could do to change the outcome after Biden won by seven million popular votes and 74 votes in the Electoral College.
Hawley and Ted Cruz — who got triangulated into going along with this anti-democratic charade when Hawley outflanked him in the 2024 presidential posturing primary by announcing that he planned to defy Mitch McConnell by contesting the Electoral College certification — are facing an ethics complaint filed by Democratic Senators Sheldon Whitehouse, Ron Wyden, Tina Smith, Richard Blumenthal, Mazie Hirono, Tim Kaine, and Sherrod Brown over their post-election antics.
The extent, if any, of communication or coordination between Sens. Hawley and Cruz and the organizers of the rally remains to be investigated. Three members of the House of Representatives who coordinated with Senators Hawley and Cruz to object to the electors, Reps. Andy Biggs, Paul Gosar, and Mo Brooks, have been identified as alleged co-architects of the rally. Further investigation is necessary to determine whether and to what extent Senators Cruz and Hawley were also aware of these groups' activities or coordinated with their efforts.
But the best defense is a good offense, so Hawley has filed a counter-ethics complaint against them. Take that!
"The Senate cannot function if its neutral administrative processes are hijacked for bad-faith ends," he wrote, accusing his Democratic colleagues of "[f]abricating conspiracy theories to attack me for political purposes" and "[u]sing this Committee to promote them [which] demeans this body and diminishes the public's trust in the seriousness of the Senate." And yet lightning did not strike him down on the spot for aggravated chutzpah!
Sadly, the likelihood that Cruz and Hawley will be ejected from the Senate is nil. We're stuck with Senators Smarm and Pissant for the long haul, unless they're dumb enough to give up their seats to run for president in 2024. But that fist bump photo will be with Hawley for the rest of his miserable life, no matter how hard he tries to cancel culture it. He'll be forever linked to the insurrection that he encouraged.
You break it, you bought it, asshole.
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Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.