Power- and Metaphor-Mad Attorney Wants to Sex You Up
Remember that spate of horny Hill staffer ads that polluted Craiglist last month? They seemed suspicious at the time. You know what they say: One horny Hill staffer ad is funny, two horny Hill staffer ads are a coincidence, three are a joke. (Four horny Hill staffer ads are sign that Kennedy is hiring.) And what do you know, a reader has fessed up to convoluting the November entreaties to "spank me with your legal pads because I've been sooooooo bad at answering constituent mail lately." (She says she was bored. We said December is the new August!) Of course, anything that wonkily perverse will get people's members paying attention, and the reader has sent along one of the more lusty inquiries. Now, remember: The only thing more sketchy than the ads posted on Craigslist are the responses to them. That said, let's hear it for the "power mad lawyer" who put his longings so poetically:
I'll take you to my law firm and fuck you on the conference table in view of not just the White House (we're right across the the street), but also the Washington Memorial. And I'll have my own white obelisk ready for you, baby. And at the risk of getting totally corny with the analogies, my white obelisk is ready for a plunge into your Tidal Basin as I look into the Reflecting Pool of your eyes.Excuse us while we expurge a Beltway of vomit.
Full letter after the jump.
EARLIER: While Their Members Are Away the Staff Will Play [Wonkette]
From: Anonymous Attorney
Date: Dec 14, 2005 8:38 PM
Subject: I'm a Man of Power
I just got back from the Solicitor General's Christmas party at the Department of Justice and saw your ad from mid-November.
I was in the Bush Administration and have lots of powerful friends, elected and appointed. And I guess my party affiliation qualifies me for entry into your ass.
Now I'm back in private practice. You can lick my wingtips. And forget mahogany. The wood my desk is made out of is so unique to my firm (and to my particularly historic desk) that I'm not going to share it's name, except to say that it's about 2-3 times as expensive as mahogany.
I'll take you to my law firm and fuck you on the conference table in view of not just the White House (we're right across the the street), but also the Washington Memorial. And I'll have my own white obelisk ready for you, baby. And at the risk of getting totally corny with the analogies, my white obelisk is ready for a plunge into your Tidal Basin as I look into the Reflecting Pool of your eyes.
More seriously, I've just gotta see what's under that athletic shirt you're wearing in the picture you snapped of yourself in the mirror with you cam phone back on November 17. Looks like I'm gonna need two hands to get a full grip around one of your ample breasts.
Respond to me soon, gorgeous. I'm 38, and still on my meteoric way up.