It's time for that annual ritual where Official Washington attempts to be funny (and sometimes they make it work!), the White House Correspondents' Dinner, AKA the Nerd Prom, AKA "Comedy Hit Or Miss Night." You might remember that one time when George W. Bush sparked outrage when he pretended to be looking for Iraqi WMDs in his office, and if you do, you remembered it wrong: You can peevishly correct your friends by informing them that actually happened at the 2004 Radio and Television Correspondents Association dinner, which is a completely different thing. Enjoy your smugness; you've earned it! And of course there was the best comedy routine, ever, Stephen Colbert's 2006 skewering of Mr. Bush, which was all the better for dropping his original plan to use a real skewer. Or last year's dinner, where Barry Bamz shared his Fuck-It list:

The greatest Bamz Correspondents' Dinner speech of all, was in 2011, when he Birthered all over Donald Trump, because he could:

In comedic terms, Barry really "killed" that night, as you may recall.

Mr. Trump will not be at the Washington Hilton tonight, but we have a feeling that will probably not keep anyone from razzing him. The featured comic tonight will be the esteemed Larry Wilmore, host of Comedy Central's "The Nightly Show," and we are reasonably certain he will mention Trump. Possibly more than once. Bernie Sanders is the only presidential candidate actually in attendance, or it might just turn out to be Larry David. We'll go way out on a limb and bet that Barry Bamz will find a way to mention Ted Cruz's amusing glitch in calling a basketball hoop a "basketball ring."

Now, the important Q & A parts!

Where can I watch this extravaganza?

You can watch it RIGHT NOW at CSPAN, although they're all just chowing down right now. CNN began airing it at 8:00 Eastern, and MSNBC began coverage at 9:00 EDT. It's also on Fox News, where the anchors will simply scowl the whole time. According to the Washington Post,

The schedule says President Obama and Wilmore will start their speeches at 9:45 p.m… however, for the last two years, they haven’t taken the stage until closer to 10:15 p.m. Expect everything to wrap up at approximately 11 p.m.

I don't have Teevee! What do I do?!

Welp, there's CSPAN'S website, which is streaming the loud crowd drinking and talking right now, and also reading tweets. It is also being streamed on the Washington Post and MSNBC websites

I missed the start! What can I do?!

CSPAN and CNN will rerun the festivities from the beginning all over again as soon as it's over. WaPo promises video and transcripts online sometime after both the POTUS and Wilmore have spoken.

I would like to laugh a little more at Donald Trump's 2011 humiliation, please

You might want to read this piece by Wait Wait Don't Tell Me's Roxanne Roberts, who also works at the Washington Post, we hear.

Trump was so humiliated by the experience, they say, that it triggered some deep, previously hidden yearning for revenge. “That evening of public abasement, rather than sending Mr. Trump away, accelerated his ferocious efforts to gain stature in the political world,” wrote the New York Times last month.

Aside from the questionable premise that the Republican front-runner has ever had an unexpressed thought, there’s the problem of speculation based on nothing but YouTube clips of the night. The only person who knows definitively when or why he decided to run is Trump.

“It’s such a false narrative,” Trump told me this week. “I had a phenomenal time. I had a great evening.”

We're perfectly willing to believe the 2011 dinner had nothing to do with Trump's decision to run. But no way was he enjoying a bit of that.

Will Wonkette be live-blooging?

Pfft. We will be drinking and prepping Sunday's Dear ShitFerBrains, which is how we roll on a Saturday night. That, and using decades-old slang, which is totally tubular. But Yr Dok Zoom will join you in the comments, as he is wont to do. "Peace Out."

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC
'Bella" by Wonkette Operative 'IdiokraticSubpoenaKommissar'

Sunday already, which means a substantial portion of US America is preparing to be astonished/heartbroken/outraged by the series finale of that show with the dragons, while another portion is just going to stay off Twitter for three days because nothing will make any sense. Yr Dok Zoom tends to come very late to trendy things, so get ready for our own thoughts on the gamy thrones show sometime in about 2023, or never. But we'd be glad to tell you just how much we enjoy the brilliance and humanity of the Cartoon Network series "Steven Universe," which debuted in 2013 and we started bingeing on the Hulu last month, late again.

Hell, we still want to talk about that one Mrs Landingham episode of "The West Wing," which we first watched years after it aired (We finally bought our new used car yesterday, and know one thing: don't drive over to the White House to show it off to President Bartlet). We might even get around to reading Infinite Jest someday. We hear it has something to do with a superhero team and a guy named Thanos. So hey, let's talk about culture and missing out and patching together some knowledge of what's happening anyway.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC
Get Me Roger Stone

Roger Stone, his wife would like you to know, is broke. And he is not dealing with it well. Once in khaki suits, gee, he looked swell, full of that yankee-doodle-dee-dum, but now no one calls him Al anymore and he has to stand on a street corner singing "Brother Can You Spare A Dime?"

Yesterday, the conservative but also kind of Never Trumper site The Bulwark revealed the details of a grifty "fundraising" plea sent out by Stone's wife Nydia, begging supporters to give money to the Stones in order to help them keep up the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed.

It was titled "I am embarrassed to write this."

"Dear Friend," begins the missive. "My husband and I have an urgent new problem and we need your help. I told my husband I was going to write you, one of his most valued supporters. I am embarrassed to write this, but I must."

"Mrs. Roger Stone" tells a tale of woe: FBI agents swooping in on them at the crack of dawn to arrest her husband, a subsequent "fake news" feeding frenzy causing friends and fans to abandon the Stones.

"He laid off all our consultants, contractors and employees, and we have 'pulled in our belts' like so many Americans in 'tight times,'" she wrote, sounding for all the world like a plucky working-class patriot, not the wife of a man who made and lost his fortune lying in the service of power.

She should have been more embarrassed.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc