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President George Bush's Sex Tour Of Easter

Shame and defilement, right this wayBecause Easter celebrates fertility and ancient pagan sex rituals, the day after Easter George Bush likes to invite children to his house to observe his fecund daughter Jenna and look on in wonderment as he indulges in subtle anal play with the Easter Bunny. Join us on this appalling tour of the filthiest Easter Egg Roll since last year's!


Meet First Daughter Jenna Bush. This suspiciously blousy little get-up will do nothing to quell the old baby bump rumors. How long has this girl been pregnant, like a year and a half? She is worse than Jennifer Lopez.

Rite of Spring

Who can forget George Bush's tawdry sex affair with last year's Easter Bunny? George Bush, that's who! Here he is so high on amyl nitrate that he can barely find his own lips, let alone remember which rabbit joined him in defiling the Lincoln Bedroom.

Totally 'faced

We can all guess what's going on here.

Exhale and relax

"Thanks for the reacharound."

Now get out.

Have you ever seen Eyes Wide Shut? That movie's creepy masked orgy monsters pale in comparison to the ones refereeing our forty-third president's antics.

They even wear these heads in the shower.

The nation's shattered children flee the scene, groping in the grass for their lost innocence. They find only eggs.

Nation of traumatized egg-chasing midgets

Thanks for coming along with us on our delightful Easter Sex Tour. Join us next year, when President John McCain demonstrates his tantric "dry rub" ritual on his favorite lobbyists!

All photos courtesy of the Associated Press.

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