President Klan Robe So Sad The Oscars Aren't Hella Racist Like He Is
It's easy with all the corruption and shredding of institutional norms to forget that Donald Trump is also a sickening racist. During his rally Thursday night in Colorado Springs, Colorado, the president of the United States went on an Archie Bunker-style rant about the Oscar-winning film Parasite.
TRUMP: How bad were the Academy Awards this year? Did you see it?
The MAGA crowd booed the very mention of the Oscars, because we've always been at war with Hollywood.
TRUMP: And the winner is a movie from South Korea. What the hell was that all about? We've got enough problems with South Korea, with trade. And after all that they give them best movie of the year?
The South Korean government didn't win any Academy awards. The work of an individual South Korean filmmaker, Bong Joon-ho, was honored.
TRUMP: Was ["Parasite"] good? I don't know.
He hasn't actually seen the film, but he's going to "pre-judge" its value based solely on its national origin. This is such an obvious example of know-nothing bigotry, it could appear in a children's pop-up book.
Understandable, he can't read. #Parasite #BestPicture #Bong2020 https://t.co/lNqGJkUrDP— NEON (@NEON)1582247192.0
TRUMP: You know, I'm looking for ... can we get "Gone With the Wind"? Can we get "Gone With the Wind" back?
He doesn't just offer up The Godfather, Rocky or some other manly, "all-American" triumph as a suitable Best Picture winner. No, he reaches back into the depths of Jim Crow and dredges up Gone With the Fucking Wind, one of the most racist movies ever made. The audience naturally cheered Gone With the Wind, even the sad black man standing behind Trump. It's doubtful anyone there has ever watched Gone With the Wind, because they're all under 120 and the film itself is 72 hours long (OK, almost four). Trump himself is lazy and has no attention span. He's probably never made it all the way through the opening credits, but his mind is probably still just a continuous loop of Gone With the Wind.
TRUMP: "Sunset Boulevard" ... so many great movies!
"And you knew who you were then/girls were girls and men were men/Mister, we could use a film like Sunset Boulevard again/Those were the days!"
I'll give Trump this: Sunset Boulevard is a great movie that doesn't glamorize the Antebellum South or the Confederacy, but it's in black and white, so he would've spent the whole film yelling for someone to fix the color on the TV.
TRUMP: The winner is ... from South Korea? I thought it was Best Foreign Film, right?
Our segregationist president wants to strictly enforce a "separate but equal" policy at the Oscars. He's repulsive.
TRUMP: Best Foreign Movie? No! Did this ever happen before?
Who let this South Korean picture move into our lily-white Oscar neighborhood? Trump also attacked "little wise guy" Brad Pitt, who referenced the sham impeachment trial during his acceptance speech. Later, Trump held up a copy of Time magazine and complained again that he'd lost out on Person of the Year honors.
TRUMP: Time magazine, they don't like me. I don't like them either, by the way. This year I got beaten out by Greta [Thunberg]. You know Greta?
The crowd of American exceptionalists then booed a 17-year-old girl, and I need to go lie down for a while.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).