April 21, 2008 03:20 PM
Presidential Candidates To Appear On Fake Wrestling Program Tonight
In order to lock down the Blue Collars, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain will each appear on the World Wrestling Entertainment show "Monday Night Raw" tonight. No this is not a joke at all, it's something that's happening the night before an important presidential primary.
According to a press release, these guest appearances are actually watered-down from the original proposal:
In particular, Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama will be appealing for votes from WWE fans in Pennsylvania, where they are locked in a tight primary battle. An invitation from the WWE to have Sen. Clinton and Sen. Obama appear on RAW to settle the Democratic nomination process in the wrestling ring was the catalyst for tonight's appearances by the three top Presidential contenders, who each will address the WWE audience in specially taped messages.
Clearly the original plan to have them square off in a no-holds-barred cage match was the most viscerally appealing proposal yet to catch the eye of both contenders. Can you even imagine how much Barack Obama wants to choke-slam Hillary Clinton, and how much she wants to shoot him in the face with a gun?